Haute Chocolate

Regret

2011-03-02T20:39:00.000-05:00

I've heard life is too short for it.

I'm about a month away from having been on this earth for a quarter of a century and I wonder if 25 is too short to have so many regrets...

No Creative Juices Left?

2011-02-24T21:54:00.000-05:00

Is Hollywood drying up? Are people just running out of new things to put out there?

I stumbled upon this after family movie night and I was thoroughly disappointed.

The Bodyguard is one of those movies I've been watching for years and I get super excited about it and ready to sing along every time. Now they wanna do a remake??? What is going on here??? Next they're gonna tell me Beyonce is gonna take on Rachel.

Disgusted!

Listen

2011-02-23T10:14:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted in forever and I have no excuse!

Lately I've only been posted when I'm upset and I need to vent and now is no exception (though in the future I want to post about other stuff again). I've had a rough month, filled with ups and downs, and despite the drama that unfolded in my life this morning, I'm feeling rather upbeat.

My thought for today is to always listen to God. I've heard other people say it but I never thought much about it. I always wondered how does one even listen to God? How do you actually hear what he has to say to you?

Today I learned.

Of course there is not magical voice that comes from the heavens to talk to you. But God sure does work through people and things. He moves them, he uses them to tell you something you need to hear, see, and know. The only thing you have to do is pay attention! For a while now, God has been speaking to me about a certain situation or a certain person in my life that didn't need to be there. He sent me the signs, he sent me the information and yet I ignored it. Today, however, I learned that I should have listened. He was never trying to hurt me, he was only helping but when you brush him off, he can and will send you reeling.

I'm working on rebuilding my relationship with the Lord, however. Things in my life are beginning to move and there are some serious changes that are coming my way that I can't wait to share. Until then I'm going to try my best to get back to blogging and get back to doing me!

Getting Over...

2010-10-13T11:17:00.000-04:00

Getting over a broken heart is one of the hardest things I think a person has to do in their life. Whether your heart is broken by a lover, a friend, a family member, or somebody else, it's tough.

I think I'd kind of forgotten the pain that comes with losing somebody that you love and hold dear to your heart. It's been more than 10 years since I lost my dad and that was one of the most devastating and hurtful experiences I had been through in my life. I never thought I would hurt like that again until recently.

I've lost a person that was in my life almost as long as my father was. The difference between this loss is that he isn't dead. He is still living and breathing and able to communicate with me which makes it a little harder. My sister reminded me that if I was able to get over losing my father, I would be able to get over losing a person I considered to be my best friend and that I love just as much as I love my daddy.

Right now I feel like I did when I was 12 in those days after my dad died. I tried my hardest to be myself but inside I felt just dead. The problem is that I don't even remember how I got through it so I'm at a loss for how to get through losing a loved one now. At the age of 12 I feel I handled losing my dad better than I'm handling losing this person at 24.

How do you get over a broken heart? How do you let go of a person? How do you get over the loss of a person that you love?

White America Has Kinda Lost It...Sorry

2010-10-04T11:47:00.001-04:00

I came across this article from the Village Voice today on Facebook and I had to take a little time out read it.

I've been increasingly troubled by some of the things that have been going on in American politics and this little war that seems to be raging between Dems and Republics (or maybe it's just White people versus Obama) right now.

"Had decades of sucking down so much high-fructose corn syrup not only made Americans incredibly obese, but also messed with white brain chemistry to the point that some sort of tipping point had occurred?" I think so.

I really hate talking politics but I loved this article complete with real examples of how things are just little crazy with people today. Check out the column and let me know what you think....has White America lost it's mind?

Song of the Day: Lil Wayne feat. Drake "With You"

2010-09-29T09:50:00.000-04:00

I have a confession: I have a thing for rap "love songs". Those songs with a great, smooth beat and even though he's rapping it almost sounds cute/romantic lol.

I'm not really into him much these days but I downloaded the new Lil Wayne album I Am Not A Human Being and this was one song that definitely stood out to me. I was feeling the rest of the album, not as much as The Carter III but I'm thinking after hearing it a couple of times it will be in rotation. Check it out below...

Coco's Cupcake Diary: Cupcake Decorating Class

2010-09-21T19:27:00.000-04:00

I managed to stop crying last night for a grand total of 3 hours and 33 minutes. Yes the minute I walked out of the place I was a wreck again, but I came home with some hand decorated cupcakes.

I took the Simple Cupcakes class at Cincinnati Cake and Candy Supply. We learned the basics of cupcake decorating like icing, working with fondant (which just might be my new ish) and making shapes with fondant, and how to make flowers and such with frosting.

I think I did pretty good. I didn't make the cupcakes, they were already made when we got there. Not sure how they taste since I haven't been able to eat much of anything (this break up shit is crazy) but I was told they tasted fab. Check out my pics below...(sorry for the bad quality I took them with my phone)

Remembering Katrina

2010-08-27T17:47:00.000-04:00

Hurricane Katrina is one of those top-5 events of things that occur in your lifetime where you remember where you were, what you were doing, and what you were feeling when it happened.

I remember I had just retured to Howard for my sophomore year. I was living in this tiny single room in Meridian Hill hall. Classes had been in for a few weeks. I of course watched The Weather Channel every morning so I could dress accorindingly and that was when I first remember hearing of the tropical storm that was headed for the gulf. I remember watching the chaos and fear that was developing in the Gulf Coast and of course praying we wouldn't have rain in DC like there usually is when a tropical storm hit in the south.

The days following Katrina I saw things I never thought I would see in America and I honestly did cry a few times as I watched the people at the Convention Center begging for help. I watched CNN as Anderson Cooper walked the desolate streets, stopping to check dead bodies on the roads and talking with people that were just wandering, trying to find their way. I teared up seeing families on their roofs trying to flag down helicopters to save them from the oppressive heat, and hearing stories about all of the bodies floating around in the streets.

I am happy to see that we have come so far in 5 years from Katrina and I hope that I never have to see Americans suffering not only from a terrible natural disaster but from a government that has abandoned them.

For the 5 year anniversary I recommend watching Spike Lee's documentary When the Levees Broke. He interviews people from all walks of life and from every area even people who aren't from the Gulf Coast who went to volunteer. It was inspiring, touching, and just a excellent film. Check out a little clip below.

Who Else Could Make Kings Out of Bastards?

2010-08-18T15:36:00.000-04:00

I've see this video posted on Facebook a few times and I finally watched it today while checking out a new blog.

The video is called "Ten Things I Want to Say to a Black Woman" and it is by a guy named Joshua Bennett. The delivery makes it just a little difficult to get everything but the women in the room were clearly moved and so was I. If you watch the video on the YouTube site there is a written list of these ten things if you can't get through the video. This guy is saying some real ish!

Cupcake Diaries: Red Velvet Cupcakes w/ Cream Cheese Frosting

2010-08-17T10:30:00.000-04:00

I love red velvet cake. It's an interesting cake and nowadays it's pretty popular.

I had it for the first time one warm fall afternoon at a place called The Cake Man in Brooklyn (yes I tried it for the first time when I was 22) just before I ate the most amazing catfish burrito and corn at Habana. It was moist, the frosting wasn't too sweet, and it wasas just delicious.

My first attempt at red velvet cupcakes was Christmas 2009 where I made them for a Christmas party at my house. While they were good, it was more like eating a rather dense chocolate cake with a little red food coloring.

(my first red velvet cupcakes)

I went on a quest to find a recipe for red velvet cake that was moist, not overly chocolatey, and light. I found an incredibly simple recipe that turned out some darn good cupcakes. I eve placed 2 orders from people wanting a dozen of these little cakes just yesterday!

Not the prettiest batter in the world, my kitchen counter almost resembled a crime scene...

But they cooked beautifully...

Topped with a yummy cream cheese frosting

Boxed and ready to go!

2010-08-16T09:56:00.001-04:00

Now that the furor over Mrs. Obama's Spain trip is dying down a little, I want to give my quick two cents o the issue.

To America:
Don't get it twisted, the Obama's have money and I'm pretty sure they aren't hanging with Pookie and Ray-Ray from Sunshine Terrace housing projects. They people in their inner circles have money too. Why do people think it's impossible for Michelle and her daughter to take a trip that was paid for personally (well with the exception of the secret service and Air Force II)? Presidents don't make that much money, honestly.Oh yeah and where was all this noise when Bush was leaving Washington every 2 days to head back to his lil Texas ranch? And seriously, in August Washington is like a ghost town, everybody is on vacation and those people work hard, is there anything really wrong with that?

To The First Family:
Can we be a little sensitive to the plight of our country right now? We're in a recession and you know that people are pointing the fingers at ~~Bush~~ you for everything that has gone wrong. I know, understand, and love that family comes first and that you are a mother before you are First Lady, but this is not a job that you can take a vacation from.

Furthermore, I'm rather confused by how yall are doing things nowadays anyways. You can spend 2 weeks in Spain and another 2 weeks in Martha's Vineyard, but the Gulf Coast gets a whopping 27 hours of your time and a measley 5 minutes of you frolicking in its waters?

Have you forgotten that you are in BLACK and that you are living under a microscope or do you no longer care? Are you not feeling the job and not planning on getting re-elected in 2012?

If the one member of the Obama's who was doing pretty good in the public eye has this happen, it might be time to get that U-Haul ready.

Coco's Cupcake Diary

2010-08-13T17:49:00.000-04:00

I'm jumping on the cupcake bandwagon! I've been spending quite a lot of time online and in the library researching recipe after recipe for the ever popular cupcake. I'm even officially registered for a simple cupcakes decorating class at Cincinnati Cake and Candy Supply next month! I love cooking and baking has really seem to become my thing.

I've spent the last month or so developing and trying out new recipes for cakes and frostings and let me tell you it has been great. The first cupcakes i tried last month were a Vanilla Bean cupcake with Vanilla Italian Meringue Buttercream frosting. I've you've ever been to Cakelove in the DC area, you've had the yummy, light deliciousness that is Italian meringue buttercream. Unfortunately my digital camera was broken so I didn't get any pics of those.

I want share all the fun here on my blog so I'm starting a new "series" Coco's Cupcake Diary. I'll post recipes and pictures from the cupcakes I make just to document this new project I'm working on. Hope you enjoy!

Song of the Day: H-Town "Knockin The Boots"

2010-08-10T09:40:00.001-04:00

Knockin the Boots (n.) - Two boots coming together making tasteful lust.

I'm driving home last night after chillaxing with The Boo, and H-Town's "Knockin the Boots" comes on Mojo.

This song used to be my JAM. Please note that in the intro he says "kickin it in the 9-3"....in '93 I didn't even know what "knockin the boots" meant but I sure knew every word to this song...SMH. Check out the video below.

Anybody else have some song they loved as a kid that was totally inappropriate?

My Inner Child Is Rejoicing

2010-08-09T23:38:00.000-04:00

So I saw the words "Pop-Tart Sushi" on the trending now list on the Yahoo! homepage and I had to investigate. I found out from The New York Times that Pop-Tarts will now be having a store in Times Square!!!

The kid inside definitely added it to the list of places I MUST hit up next time I'm in NYC (of course they're mostly food related, I'm soo fat and I watch waaay too much Food Network). The store will be offering lots of Pop-Tart inspired treats and even a vending machine of some sorts that will let you create like a variety pack. Visitors can even create their own flavors. I CAN'T WAIT!

BTW...Pop-Tart sushi consists of bits of Pop-Tarts wrappe in a freaking Fruit Rollup! I can't even handle this!

Run and Tell THAT...Homeboy

2010-08-04T12:05:00.001-04:00

I swear Youtube has created a bit of a monster...they will remix ANYTHING. This fool even has t-shirts.

Has it even been a week since this story broke?

The Quest for Better Hair

2010-08-04T00:59:00.000-04:00

So I've gone without weave for a few months now but I've beentotally unsatisfied with the way my hair looks and feels. I took a moment to go over my hair care routine and realized I'm taking care of my real, natural hair the same way I take care of it when I have weave.

I've decided it's time to try some new things until the weave makes it return. I watched a few youtube vids and read a few blogs and hit the stores. I picked up some new products as well as some rollers and I attempted my first........"roller wrap"!

Normally, I wash (with any old shampoo I've got as long as it's a moisturizing shampoo), blow dry with a hand dryer, and iron with my Chi flat iron. I love my Chi (it's the flat iron truth!) but my real hair is a damaged enough and I think I've just been using way too much heat. It's really great for straightening up my weaves and roots when my new growth is crazy but it's not good for everyday.

I decided to start by giving some new products a try and these top the list...

Motion's Lavish Conditioning Shampoo

I was previously using a combo of Garnier Fructis and a clarifying shampoo from Mizani. Both were WAY to drying though I thought it was okay because my hair was getting super clean....it wasn't.

Dove Intensive Repair Shampoo

Great results.

Olive Oil Replenishing Conditioner
LOVE THIS. I don't have a sit under dryer so, as written in the directions, I left this on for an hour under a plastic cap. When I rinsed my hair felt so different in a good way. This has become a new staple.

Cantu Shea Butter Leave-In Conditioner
At first I thought I would alternate between this and the Olive Oil Conditioner after shampooing. However, this conditioner works great for everyday styling and really gives my hair that silky look which means I'm not going over my hair with the flat iron....BONUS

I'll post some pics of my new haircare process soon (digicam is NOT agreeing with me these days).

I Miss...

2010-07-28T14:14:00.000-04:00

Being independent.

Trips to The Diner in Adam's Morgan at 2 a.m.

Sitting out on the yard, people watching and having fun.

Riding the crowded Metro downtown.

Corner Bakery and Cosi sandwiches.

Montgomery Mall, Nordstrom, and Lord and Taylor.

Refund checks and having money in my pockets.

Long walks around the National Mall.

Movies by myself at Mazza Gallerie.

Hot Krispy Kreme Donuts and conversation in Dupont.

Driving around forever looking for parking.

Lunch dates with Andreas.

Happy hour at Alero after class.

Being a 4 hour bus ride away from NYC.

Hello Cupcake (are getting that I REALLY miss the food?)

I REALLY JUST MISS D.C.!

I had to get that out.

LOVE This

2010-07-26T08:36:00.003-04:00

When I first heard this song I searched FOREVER for the video but it got removed from Youtube and because Solange is highly underrated, I never saw it on TV. I stumbled across this while catching up on the latest videos (I almost NEVER watch music vids nowadays).

At first I was like huh? Then I was like WTF to the toilet scene. But the end was just so cute. Kinda makes me wonder what if...? Check it out...

The male radar

2010-07-24T10:41:00.000-04:00

I'm really beginning to believe that men have some sort of female radar/telekinesis/6th sense about women.

One aspect of this special power they have is the ability to know or sense when a woman they've previously been involved with has forgotten about them, isn't thinking about them, or has moved on. When this occurs, they get some alert that says "B forgot about me. I must put myself back on her mind." and then a text, phone call, FB message, or other form of communication ensues.

Sometimes us women fall back into the trap (I have before no lie) but some have no need to hear what that man is talking anymore and they can see past the bullsh*t that usually comes with communications from that man.

I'm back in Ohio, living life and looking for a job while still dreaming fondly of the fun times I had in DC. Things are going pretty good in my relationship with The Boo aside from a few life issues going on with him. With the exception of a few texts from the Jamaican, I haven't been speaking to him or communicating with him and I guess his radar finally went off that he wasn't on my mind anymore.

He tells me he misses me, he tells me he wants me to come back, and the kicker...he's never liked any girl the way he likes me and he thinks he might be in love.

I swear God is up there laughing at me.

A Place to Escape

2010-06-25T17:46:00.000-04:00

Now that I'm temporarily living back at home, I'm always dreaming of the days I will be on my own again or at least of spending a few days away with my honey in a quiet and beautiful place. Most importantly, I look forward to DECORATING!

I saw this article from the New York Times and was completely inspired by this woman's idea and the way she renovated a shack in the woods for a mere $3,000. The "shabby chic" decorating makes the place look incredibly comfortable and cute. Loves it!

If You Ask Me I'm Ready

2010-05-12T20:32:00.001-04:00

It took a while for me to come around but I absolutely love Alicia Keys' single "Un-thinkable (I'm Ready)" with Drake's ghostly vocals in the backgroud. I've lost a little bit of love for Alicia Keys with her latest album but this song and video remind me of why I'm a fan...

Thanks to MissAmazin for keeping me hip to the newest videos

Drake Is Forgiven

2010-05-12T15:27:00.000-04:00

After the epic failure of Drake's "Best I Ever Had" video, he has finally redeemed himself with his "Find Your Love" video.

I'm loving the song and I'm feeling the little love story in the video. Check it out...

Skin

2010-04-24T17:07:00.000-04:00

This might be the weirdest post ever but today, while simply perusing the internet, I saw a photo of some random and very attractive black guy. I couldn't help but think about how pretty his skin was.

I remember this one night I was out with my girl Nicole at Andalu in DC. There was a fairly attractive White guy that had been chatting me up while we were waiting for the crowd to pick up. He ended up leaving but a few hours later, out of nowhere, he was grabbing me on the dance floor. He pressed his face against mine and it was just so soft and clammy...YUCK!

Black men have the prettiest skin! It's rich in color, can sometimes look like silk, and the texture is not too hard and not too soft. It's just right :-).

Sometimes you feel like this....

2010-04-19T20:11:00.000-04:00

One movie I absolutely love is Somethings Gotta Give with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson. I think it's a cute, loving and funny movie and here is one scene/montage I absolutely love.

Keaton's character experiences the lows of love after falling in love with a guy and having her heart broken by his ass. I laugh everytime I see her in a different scene crying but right now I feel like kind of like her. Cut to me at any random point in the day and you'll probably see me going through the same thing (probably explains why I was inspired to write today). Anyways check it out...

Definitely going to see this

2010-03-13T09:33:00.002-05:00

I knew Queen and Common were doing a movie together (was even in NYC and saw when they were shooting) but I didn't know it was going to be anything like this. Can't wait.

Romantic Relationships

2010-02-24T16:59:00.002-05:00

Why do people have romantic relationships anymore?

Are they even really worth all the trouble? The tears, the fights, and the heartache?

I know that there are only a few people in this world that are blessed enough to actually find a person with whom they share a mutual maturity level and love that really can endure…but in my opinion there are quite a few people out there that THINK they are in that select pool but really aren't. And then there the people that just don't and probably never will find something so real. And I think there's a lot more of those kinds of people in this world.

Relationships are hard they take this strange kind of work where two people are shooting for something that seems so simple. They can make you feel, say, and do things you never imagined. They can build you up and they can seriously tear you down.

I thought about this for about an hour and a half while I waited for one of my best friends to come to my house. My friend is 23 years old and married to a guy she's been with since about our senior year of high school. This guy is about a year younger than her in age and even younger in the mental sense. In my opinion their marriage was one of passion and not well-thought out on either side. When her husband was struck with some sort of stress-related mental breakdown I guess it made them realize how much they loved each other and they decided to get married (I would pretty much say they eloped but I can't exactly cause the families were there but she didn't tell anybody else).

Not even a full year later, I have to provide a shoulder for this friend to cry on because her husband is cheating on her and just might leave for this other ex-girlfriend chick he's been messing with (I really am not trying to put her biz all out there…sorry). While I'm giving her words of encouragement and advising her to really examine the situation (I really just wanna tell her to bounce but I just don't think that's my place considering she is married to the dude) I'm asking myself why she even married him. Why did she even put herself in the position to go through this? To rearrange your life so that own happiness is placed in the hands of another person who will most likely let you down.

I know that nobody really wants to be alone but it seems that being alone is jut so much easier and maybe a little better if you're not in that small percentage of people that can really handle relationships.

This might be shameful....

2009-11-18T13:10:00.001-05:00

But I can't get this freakin song out my head! I love it!

I know it's sad

Pretty Fly for a White Guy

2009-11-18T09:52:00.000-05:00

I will admit, when I was younger I only ever liked White guys. I mean there were NO black boys in my little Catholic school class until like 3rd grade so they were I knew.

Not sure what happened or when this occurred, by I "crossed over" and I loved and appreciate my Black males. Sure there were White guys I thought were cute but that was about it. And after high school, it was OVER especially considering few guys I were around were kinda lame (yeah I said it).

Cut to college where I'm pretty much removed from White people in general (that's for another post!). However, I saw that new Jamie Foxx movie Law Abiding Citizen, over the weekend and I spent the entire time drooling over Gerard Butler!

I felt like making a list of White guys that could get it....(in no particular order)

1. Gerard Butler (he's newest to the list)

2. Jude Law (I mean did you see him in The Holiday?)

4. Johnny Depp

5. Channing Tatum

I could probably come up with a couple more...but let me slow my roll!

Precious: My Commentary

2009-11-17T21:46:00.000-05:00

I was one of those unfortunate people that didn't get to see Precious this weekend because everybody and they momma did. Even though I'm in the midst of a stressful week, I took the time this evening to go see it. And now I'm gonna took a little more time out to give my commentary on the movie.
First, I better see some Oscar, Golden Globe, and all that ish nominees come out for this movie. Everyone, and literally everyone was good. Mariah suprised me (she looked a lil rough without the makeup) and I didn't realize how sexy Lenny Kravitz was until I saw him stripped down to a regular looking man in this movie. Mo'Nique...DAMN! I mean I freaking hated her! I'm still trying to remind myself it wasn't real because she was that good. Gabourey Sidibe was spectacular...she made Precious come alive and seem so real.

The movie addresses an issue that is a serious problem for all but particularly in the Black community. Men raping and molesting young children and women allowing it to happen.

In the end when Mo'Nique's character confesses to the things she did she displays a hatred for Precious for "taking her man". It was disgusting and disturbing that a woman can look down on her own child and blame them when the man they are with is abusing their child.

It's not that uncommon actually. It happens all the time but nobody ever knows until it's too late if they ever find out at all. Kids are afraid to talk, mothers blame their children and choose a man over there own child because they are hungry for a love of their own.

I'm happy to see this issue being discussed more and brought to the forefront (I've seen it in two films now in 2 weeks) and I hope that people begin to wake up and stop this monster from continuing to ruin children.

A Surprise Hit

2009-11-15T20:47:00.000-05:00

Finally took Kid Cudi out of the CD player to pop in Wale's debut (well debut to me) Attention Deficit.

I know I've been in DC for 5 years now, I should be familiar and comfortable with Wale, but I don't like Go-Go so I was a little turned off. However...

I LOVE IT! Wale is another breath of fresh air and he's actually talking about something good. I just hope the money and the fame don't ruin it further down the line. I'm kinda wishing I had paid attention to the guy before now, lol.

I couldn't find my current fave, "Let It Loose" feat. Pharrell, but here's another track I really like called "Diary".

P.S.: I got tickets to see Kid Cudi in Cincy this January!!!!!!! I had to share that with somebody, hehe.

Happy Birthday to Ya...

2009-11-10T22:26:00.000-05:00

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street

Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet

Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street

It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To Happy people like you--
Happy people like
What a beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame street...

How to get to Sesame Street

I remember singing that theme song while chillin over my grandma's house enjoying my childhood (and waiting for Ghostwriter to come on). Happy birthday to the show that brings joy to the lives of so many!

Over-hyped

2009-11-07T12:38:00.000-05:00

I'm by no means a Rihanna fan. I won't say she got what she deserved either. There's no excuse for a man hitting a woman ~~regardless if some of them deserve it sometiimes.~~ But this whole Rihanna-Chris Brown thing is being ridiculously overdone in my opinion and I was over 9 months ago (a.k.a. when it happened)

Rihanna is by no-means special, women are victims of domestic violence everyday. Because she a celebrity, however, the whole thing got blown up a lot more than it needed to be.

I ~~thankfully~~ caught the end of the interview Diane Sawyer did on 20/20 last night and I'd seen a few clips of her talking about the incident. From the little bit that I saw, I felt Rihanna didn't really want to break up with Chris Brown. ~~I'm sure after the restraining order expires he'll be secretly smashing~~, and in my opinion she only did it because her publicist reminded her that she is a public figure, women look up to her and sticking with Brown would send the wrong message. Ooh and those corporate sponsors would have dropped her a$$ (and I'm sure that girl wants all the money she can get, I would).

This story represents that good ole news value of timeliness. She's got an album coming out (so does Brown) and after avoiding the press, jet setting everywhere, she knew she needed to gather a little more public sympathy and finally give it from her side. The workings of a publicist is stamped all over both of them. Chris Brown's bowtie and puppy dog eyes on Larry King Live, Rihanna's crisp look and statements about setting the right example for women and such on GMA, none of this seems real to me.

I try not to judge or jump to conclusions (am I contradicting myself? maybe) about what happened because I wasn't there and we'll never have the real full story unless we were.

In the end, however, I feel sorry for both her and Chris Brown. I'm a believer in love and they both admitted and made it clear that they really love each other. I'm sad that the circumstances forced them to lose that.

In the end I wasn't feeling the interview at all and I'm really ready to move on from that topic...I think Chris and Rihanna have.

Softcore Porn

2009-11-04T23:56:00.000-05:00

Just viewed the new Trey Songz video for "I Invented Sex" (thanks to MissAmazin for the heads up), one of my favorite songs o the latest album Ready.

And....

Well....

It's like softcore porn! One of the hottest videos I've seen in quite a while. I mean he is like having full on foreplay with the chick (although they seem to lack chemistry). I got a little warm just watching it! Trey Songz' sexy level just hit a new high with me!

Check it out....

Song of the Day: Lauryn Hill "Ex-Factor"

2009-11-04T08:14:00.001-05:00

I love this song. It's one of those songs I can just relate and that touches me some kinda way. This was the song that really turne me into a Lauryn Hill fan too.

When me and The Boo were broken up and going through our ish, this song used to bring me to tears ~~and it still kinda does~~. The lyrics just summed up everything and all that I was feeling during that rough year that we were broken up.The whole ex factor can really be a trip, the hurting, the confusion, the love and nobody captures it better than Ms. Hill. I want her to make a comeback!

Check out the video below. Have a great day!

All the talk in the world, Lost in the world, Till you finally let that thing go

2009-11-03T23:11:00.001-05:00

Paranoia (n.): a thought process heavily influenced by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion.

Paranoia is a mofo. It can ruin things, it can turn you into a crazy person. When you suffer from it it overwhelms you, takes over, and consumes you.

I was never paranoid before. I always felt pretty good and secure about things/people in my life. But somewhere along the road of life, things happened and those things turned me into one of those paranoid people.

"You've got a f*cked up attitude, you're gonna be single forever." That's what this guy, I will refer to him as Herb-Man (because this most likely won't be the last time I refer to him in a post and that is also his Yahoo screen name), once told me. Mind you, Herb-Man had the nerve to say these things to me after it was revealed he had a girlfriend the entire time we were involved.

It seems like after I got duped by Herb-Man I was got duped a few more times even by those I never thought would do me that way. I became paranoid.

Paranoia can ruin things like relationships. Your heart tells you one thing but your paranoid mind tells you another and usually the paranoid mind wins.

My question is how do you get over paranoia? How do you let go of the things that made you paranoid in the first place? I really need to know....

There's No Payback So There's No Lay Back...

2009-11-03T09:24:00.000-05:00

In my opinion, for quite a few artist, the music industry is one that chews you up, savors the flavor and then spits you out. They gotta stay skinny and they only allow a few artists to pass through the esophogus and go through the digestive process (I'm doin the most right?)

I was watching MTV Cribs and the first dude up was T-Pain...SMH.

He's got a lovely crib, very pricey (several cars, elevator, ~~classy~~ stripper pole in the basement)...but he hasn't had a song out in a few months and if I've learned anything in this recession that pricey ish can really drain the bank. AND with Jay-Z calling for the Death of Autotune and everybody and they momma doing it...what's the man gonna do now?

The news has been filled with reports of "entertainers" and their current broke status. Does this mean the end of this ballin out of control, flashy trend? I sure hope so...

Check out this funny video from The Daily Show where Slim Thug discusses the impact of the recession on rap here.

It's Up To You, New York, New York!

2009-11-02T17:22:00.000-05:00

I just peeped Jay-Z's new video for "Empire State of Mind" and while it wasn't quite what I was expecting it's still hot! I especially love Alicia Key's hair a big ol gold earrings. I've been wanting a pair like that for years now. This song always makes me wanna hop on the Chinese bus or the Megabus and go visit my sister...Check the video below!

My biggest project when I was like 5

2009-10-28T23:23:00.001-04:00

I just finished a dumb, long take-home exam about the destruction of the Tasmanian Aborigines.

I 100% hate dumb projects and take-homes.

I hate bringing school home. When you're a kid (well when I was a kid) I got out of school and if I wasn't hitting the streets on my bike with my friends, I had plenty of great things to play with instead of being chained to a computer.

I found myself thinking about some random things tonight, things from my childhood. I remember things like finishing that really complicated Lite-Brite design were the only projects I had on my plate.

So reminiscing on Lite-Bright got me thinking about all my cool ass toys I had when I was a kid...

*Sigh* those were the good ole days!

Mr. Solo Dolo

2009-10-18T02:04:00.001-04:00

I'm in the middle of a love affair with Kid Cudi.

I had to wait forever and a day to get his album but I haven't removed it from my CD player in about a week and half. There's something so real about him I mean the first line of his Myspace says he likes cheeseburgers and beer. He reminds me of Kanye West meets Bone Thugs meets like Jamiroquai (or somebody) but he's so original and different. Plus I love seeing a fellow Ohioan blow up.

I found out he'll be in the DC area this month for the MTV Ulalume Festival along with A.F.I. (I freakin love A.F.I. by the way...it's my dirty little secret), Asher Roth and some others. Unfortunately I'll be slaving away for my internship/I don't have a ticket for the festival. Hopefully he'll be going on tour with somebody and I will make sure I'm there!

Besides Hyyer, which is one of my favorite tracks, I've been playing Pursuit of Hapiness on repeat lately. Check it out live on David Letterman...

"I have plenty of black friends"

2009-10-16T09:59:00.000-04:00

This morning my Yahoo front page greeted me with this.

An interracial couple being denied a marriage license because the justice of the peace does believe in "mixing races like that"?

I mean first of all this story is just appalling...the things this man says!

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

Are you f*cking kidding? He must be talking about the help.

And on top of that this is probably not the first mixed couple he has denied since he asks couples if they are mixed race first!

I know people looked at the Age of Obama as the key to bringing this kind of thing to an end, but I'm hearing about it more since Obama. Do White people feel more comfortable now or something?

Just a little crush

2009-10-10T18:28:00.001-04:00

Remember when people used to have crushes? Some people still do.

Unfortunately, I don't....and I kinda miss it.

I remember by first crush(es). I had 2 in the first grade (I was lil fast then I guess). The one was a little White kid named Robert. I actually crushed him from 1st through 8th grade...he was the cutest kid in class (we only had 1 Black guy and he was obviously gay). I remember one day in 1st grade he told me I looked like a movie star with my hair in a bun and I was in love. That boy had game!

My other crush was another Robert, a Black boy. He was older, I believe he was in like 5th grade when I was in 1st. He was the older brother of one of my friends and he also rode the same bus as me. I remember one day on the bus we had this evil sub driver. Keep in mind I was like 6 and the man asked me where my bus stop was. Umm...I had no freaking idea! I remember him screaming at me at the top of his lungs and my crush set him straight for me. I used to get nervous just looking at him.

I actually had A LOT of crushes in elementary school...boys from school, neighbors, celeb crushes (Justin Timberlake and Marques Houston from Immature were my future hubbies). When I looked back on it I'm amazed!

After elementary school, I stopped having crushes. I know a large part of that had to do with the fact that guys were not apart of my everyday life at school (I went to an all-girls high school) but I never even ended up crushing on the boys at mixers and football games. I started dating in high school and met my current boyfriend then so I guess I had no need for crushes.

College came and while I was surrounded by beautiful Black men, I never developed an actual crush on any of them. You know like when they come around your heart beats a little faster, palms get sweaty, mouth goes dry crush. Never fantasized what it would be like to be with any of them or anything.

Ok actually I'm pretty thankful those days are over....

No no no no no no no!

2009-10-09T10:33:00.001-04:00

Woke up this morning to some very interesting news from SoulBounce. The loves of my life that are N.E.R.D. are adding a girl to the mix. A Canadian girl named Rhea who, knowing Pharrell, probably can sing ~~but doesn't look like she fits at all!~~.

How could I not mention a certain group ~~of sell-outs~~ that began with 3 men making rap (not pop) music with a message and had a huge following in the underground scene. They added a chicked named Stacy Ferguson and started making pop/dance music. Don't get me wrong, I respect the Black Eyed Peas and I will take the addition of Fergie as them doing what they had to do to get where they wanted to get.

But come on Pharrell! Ya'll were doing alright! And according to the Soulbounce article he admits this Rhea girl takes there music somewhere else.

I'm not going to dismiss them until I've heard something new...but I'm not happy about this.

Here's a little something for the morning :-)

Where did people think she came from?

2009-10-08T23:45:00.003-04:00

I just saw this story from ABC.com and other places about Michelle Obama's linage being traced all the way back to slavery. What the video or read the story here

This is the story of so many Black Americans and yes this is a big deal. A direct descendant of slaves, the people that Whites stole from their homes and sold like a dime back of weed, is now living in the White House as The First Lady.

I think it's wonderful that somebody took the time to trace it back for her and I wish that all Black Americans had the opportunity to learn about their history. I'm one of the fortunate few whose family made sure our roots were known. My grandmother's grandfather (so that's like my great-great grandfather) was brought to American aboard a slave ship as a young boy and basically lived the majority of his life as a slave.

It always amazes me how I'm witnessing history as it's happening. But I do have to ask....where did folks think she came from in the first place?

Usher's new single 'Papers'

2009-10-08T20:33:00.001-04:00

I finally got to hear this new Usher song everyone is talking about called "Papers". While I was NEVER a fan of ~~him and~~ Tameka and I have been wondering what the two of them were like/what really happened/how the whole thing worked in the first place, I'm not sure if this was the best idea or road for him ~~and I kinda feel a lil bit sorta sorry Tameka's gotta deal with this in song~~.

This song will probably go on to be a big hit like Confessions, where everybody got a general idea of what happened between him and Chili (I wish they would get back together!). Check it out....

PS - This really had me thinking about breakups and dealing with all the physical things that come from a relationship (i.e. photos, pets, joint bank accounts lol). For me photos have always been a touchy area. I can almost always remember moments when pictures are taken and having to see them after you've broken up with someone is hard.

When I Googled them TONS of pics came from "happier" times and I was like 'damn that sucks'. They'll never be able to get away from those...

So what are you going to do?

2009-09-27T12:16:00.002-04:00

I've been posting a lot about my life lately. That's not what this blog is supposed to be all about but I've just had a lot to talk about regarding my life.

Now that I've established I will graduating this December (if I pass this crazy Patterns in Math class), I hear the question of what I'm going to do with myself after almost everyday. My only response has been a shrug of my shoulders and then for at least the next 2 hours I'm tossing the same question around in my head, weighing my options, and really trying to figure it out.

I've been looking forward to moving back home after crying about how much I miss Cincy for the last 5.5 years. However, when I really think about it, I'm not sure I could stand being there for more than a few weeks.

I'm tossing around the idea of moving to NYC with my sister. When I was younger New York was going to be home just as soon as I could get away. That dream faded slightly but the idea is tapping on my shoulder, asking for another chance. I don't know if I could shack up with my sis (she would make me crazy! Skinny but crazy!) but it could also be just what I need.

As a substitute for going home I've also been considering Chicago. I love the Midwest. I miss the Midwest. If I can't be in Cincy, Chicago sounds like the next best place. It's Midwestern, something tells me it wouldn't be too hard to find a job there, I would be much closer to home than I am now, I have family there, I really like Chicago (even though I've only actually been there twice and never really to see the city)...the list goes on.

Sometimes my mind gets really adventurous and I consider just moving somewhere far like Los Angeles or Houston (I looove Houston). I think about just applying for jobs anywhere and taking the best one I get offered, regardless of the location. There are factors like my family, maybe The Boo a little (although we're on the rocks and I don't know if I can give up my dreams for some man that's not giving up anything for me), and the money factor that shut that down for me.

Finally there's just staying here in DC. So many Howard folks do it. The job market for PR and event planning is good, there are lot of opportunities, it's close to everything (NYC, Philly, etc.). I have such a love-hate relationship (currently HATE) with the DMV but I really just don't see this as the place for me.

I look at all my friends who have graduated and are trying and working hard to make it and start their lives. I don't even know where to begin. After high school my plan was already set without questions or doubt but now I just don't know where I am going! These next couple of months should very interesting....

The thing in DC I HATE!

2009-09-26T21:20:00.002-04:00

It's been on my mind to post about this for a while but the other night sent me over the edge. I was dealing with two European men who were trying to convice me that two cars could fit in a space for one. I mean I thought driving in New York was bad but my few driving experiences there don't even compare to my DC experience

I was headed to Macy's at Metro Center (downtown DC) for a fashion show event that was apart of the Congression Black Caucus Conference weekend. Traffic was HORRIBLE (as usual in DC)! Of course I'm going to stay people in the DMV (DC, MD, VA) area can't drive. Here are a few instances of the ignorance I encounter:

People using the highway onramp as a lane. I've never seen this until I got here. I have seen people swerve over onto the onramp just to pass a few cars. Is that even legal?
People who don't know where they're going so they drive extra slow or just stop in the middle of the street with 10 cars behind them. Why don't you pull over and get yourself together? I know DC streets can be semi-confusing and GPS systems have a hard time keeping up but there ARE others behind you that know where they are going so why don't you move over? I almost hit somebody this morning who couldn't figure out if they wanted to turn or not.
New York Avenue. One of the busiest streets in the city and the street where people like to get foolish with their driving. Swerving in and out of lanes, driving 10 miles below the speed limit, and those annoying red light and speeding camera.
Parking enforcement. I like them as much as I like cabs and taxis (see below). These people seem to get pleasure from giving tickets. I've heard stories of "officers" smiling, telling themselves they're gonna get people. They act like they get some kind of commission off the tickets the write and they give you a ticket for almost anything...they are just plain thirsty!
Speaking of...DC parking meters. They never work! I hate when I lose a quarter to a broken meter. I also do not like those pay to park machines. They never can take your credit card and they don't take cash so it really defeats the purpose!
DC cops driving with those lights on. I don't get it...
People driving with their brights on. So many people do this, especially people in trucks. Maybe they do it so they can blind folks in smaller cars and rule the road or something. It's so rude!
CABS AND TAXIS!!!!! Can't freakin stand them! They do all of the above. Make random u-turns in the middle of traffic, and drive extremely slow or wreckless. What's even worse is they are racist and ridiculous. They won't take anywhere they don't wanna go. They hold up traffic trying to ask potential fares where they are going before they let them in. There were nights I would get into Chinatown from NYC and I would need a cab ride to my dorm. I would have to beg and barter with the drivers to take me to Howard.

Anybody that's been in the car with me will say it's just road rage. But this stuff bothers me. Can't wait to get back to Ohio where people drive semi-normally, hehe....

Oh That's Not Jennifer!

2009-09-26T09:50:00.000-04:00

I'm just not understanding. This also happened while I was heading to the Macy's event for the CBC Convention. Now I know that during the CBC Convention weekend, there are a lot of people out, the chances of seeing some ~~fine-ass~~ good-looking men just hitting the streets headed to a party or event are high, and there are all kinds of black people from all over the country in town.

Because of the traffic situation, I was forced to park like 5 blocks away from the event and trek up to the department store. As I'm briskly walking, flip-flops on and heels in hand I hear a woman coming towards me but I'm not really thinking much of it. It's not until she's right in my face yelling "Jennifer! Jennifer!" that I even notice her.

I look at her and she goes (with slight disappointment) "Oh you're not Jennifer....how you doing, baby?"

I politely smile, say hi, and chalk it up to too many drinks or they're just crazy. But a few steps later I realized just who this Jennifer is....

Two years ago for my birthday we went to dinner at Union Station. I was looking cute, hair curly (yes kind of like how she wore hers when she had the long weave) cute outfit, and everything. We were walking through this huge train station to the resturaunt when a man pushing a mail cart stops suddenly, grabs my wrist and says, "Oh my God Jennifer Hudson! Can I have your autograph?"

I laughed it off but the man was dead-*ss serious! And he looked so hurt that it wasn't me!

Am I missing something?

(Me)

(J. Hud)

These are just a couple of instances, I have plenty more stories of mistaken identity. Personally I don't see it. People tell me I should be flattered because she's pretty and I think she is. But I don't think I look like her! And I will admit it kind of stings when I see the disappointed look on people's faces when they realize it's not her....maybe it's time to go back to short hair.

Song of the Day: Boys II Men "Water Runs Dry"

2009-09-24T16:57:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting at work doing a mmailing like a good little intern. I'm listening to Pandora (although I would love to be listening to Kid Cudi if only I could get my hands on a copy) and thinking about The Boo who I haven't talked to in about a week which is when he left! This should be an indication of my current mood as well. So I'm enjoying Pandora and a Boys II Men song I loved back in like 1997 came on.

Now in '97 I loved the song for their smooth voices. But the volume level and my mature age had me listening to the words. This B2M classic is saying some real stuff and it really had me thinking. I've got so much on my mind between issues with The Boo (and our serious lack of communications) and school (there will be a vent post very soon about this I'm sure!). Check it out...

Side note: I can't wait to get out of the office and hit happy hour with my girl!

Mmmmm.....Fall!

2009-09-23T19:19:00.000-04:00

Even though it's practically baking and rainy here in Washington I have been hit with excitement for Fall!

I'm beyond ready to break out my jackets, sweaters, Uggs, sip on something warm, curl up under the covers, and experience Fall in DC. For me that's Congressional Black Caucus Convention (although I won't be working this year), Howard Homecoming (which I will be missing this year as well!), Halloween in Adam's Morgan, hitting up new movies and free events, a weekend or 2 in NYC...and so much more!

More things I'm looking forward to:

Real caramel apples and shower gel that smells like it so much so that you almost want to taste it.

Cute fall boots like these HighKoo boots by Ugg (can you believe it). This amber brown color is hot!

Long, comfy sweaters.

Chai Lattes and really good coffee...

Rain please go away and weather please cool off! I'm ready for Fall!

A Dedication...

2009-09-21T17:57:00.000-04:00

I recieved a frantic 1:30 a.m. call Friday from my sister. I was knocked out but I of course answered because she didn't usually call me so late.

She informed me that she had been in a movie that night and when she got out her phone was bombarded with calls, voicemails, and texts. She told me that our cousin had died in Brooklyn that night.

Ajile Turner was only 38. It was until today that I got the full story of what happened that night in Brooklyn but I was told that he had been in a motorcycle accident.

I was shocked. We got off the phone abruptly because she was going to call a cab to take her from Harlem over to his apartment because she could not reach anyone.

I certainly couldn't go back to sleep. My mind went back to the last time I was in Brooklyn which was this summer. He was around in I believe Prospect Park (there are two big parks over there, one had a big concert going on and the other was just a major hangout spot) and we were over at Habana enjoying burritos and corn. There were guys on bikes everywhere but unfortunately I didn't get to see him.

The last time I saw Ajile was at Habana Cafe (my first time there) just after he purchased the bike that would eventually kill him. It was a big secret, he warned me not to tell my mother because he wasn't ready for his to know. It was the first time I'd seen him since maybe high school. I hardly remember him going back to Cincinnati for anything and he was constantly travelling to Hawaii to surf (something he loved) or somewhere in the winter to snowboard (his new love).

That last time I saw him I saw him smiling, surrounded by so many people who were also touched by him. It seemed as though everybody there knew him. I remember Malik Yoba was there and when I stepped outside the gate my cousin was there chatting with him and he wasted no time introducing me, his little cousin, to Malik and everybody else standing around. Mos Def came through as well and made sure he gave a nod to Ajlie as well. I looked at him that day and I thought he was just so cool. Yeah he was the cousin of rapper Common, but all that seemed trivial to me. Rashid is like a cousin to me as well, not some big shot rapper. Ajile knew real celebs, lol.

Even though I didn't see Ajile much, I don't remember a time in my life that I didn't know him. I should add that we are not cousins by blood or marriage but simply by the fact that our mothers were once great friends, his mother was almost a mother to me. For my sister, he was a best friend. A relative in New York whom she could always call on and who she would always be there for.

This post is for Ajile who I believe was taken too soon. My thoughts and prayers are with the rest of his family and all of his friends who are mourning the loss of an amazing person.

He Almost Let the Black Slip Out

2009-09-16T19:01:00.003-04:00

I wasn't planning on writing about the whole Joe Wilson "You Lie!" thing but I can't avoid it. Just look at Mr. O around the 1:24 mark...

The minute Wilson made that disrespectful statement you could see it flash right through him. He almost let the black slip out. Pelosi's reaction was pretty funny too.

I have to add first that NOBODY yelled out at Bush when he sat there and lied to EVERYONE about there being weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. During Clinton's hearings for the Lewinsky thing, nobody screamed at him, calling him a liar. What Joe Wilson did was disrespectful, wrong, racist, and stupid and I truly hope he will have to pay for what he did. I'm putting a call into my aunt who actually works for Pelosi on The Hill and I'm gonna tell her to tell Nancy to handle that fool....

So in the days after the incident I've read all sorts of things, heard all kinds of discussions, and thought a lot about it. I said it before in my post about President O's educational address: these folks have absolutely NO respect for Obama and I think Jimmy Carter summed it up best:

"I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man."

Of course today everyone is jumping on Carter, even The White House, in saying it's untrue that these things are coming from racism. Kudos to Carter for standing up there and spitting the truth, especially considering that he is a southerner and some are saying this disrespect and treatment towards Obama is stemming from racist southerners (like Joe Wilson who comes from the state that left The Union first to protect slavery!). But whether people are ready or not, racial issues in America are coming to a head and it's becoming clear nobody wants to deal with it.

Neither does Obama it seems, especially not after the situation with Henry Louis Gates. But I have to wonder what he's really thinking, especially after watching that flash of "blackness" go through him when Wilson made the outburst.

Even more, I wonder what he says to Michelle and what she says to him at night, when it's just the two of them and no kids, advisors, or anybody else around. I would think Michelle keeps it's 100 with her man. Here's what I imagine....

Barry: Man these fools are getting me down.

Michelle: C'mon on boo, they're just mad cause they can't handle seeing a black man doin the thing! I can't believe the nerve of that redneck Joe Wilson.

Barry: I almost cussed him out, baby! For one sec I almost jumped off that podium and broke that fool.

Okay it's probably nothing like that but I can imagine, right?

Donda Aint Raise No Fool...Even though it seemed like it on the VMAs

2009-09-15T20:40:00.001-04:00

I missed Kanye on Jay Leno's show premire last night but I've been hearing about this all day.

Leno asked the question that I think a lot of people asked and wondered....how would Kanye's mom feel about what he did?

As a Kanye fan I know that the man has passion; he has strong feelings and he doesn't hesitate to go on his emotions which is all part of why he is so good at what he does. But he knows his momma wouldn't approve of what he did to Taylor Swift. Just seeing him tear up and hearing his last line about trying to figure out how to "get through the rest of this life" it's very clear the influence his mother had on him and may be he is just lost without her.

Check the video...
Tough Times - 'The Jay Leno Show' Video | AOL Television

Shared via AddThis

Can't We All Just Get Along?

2009-09-14T20:44:00.000-04:00

DISCLAIMER: My boyfriend is NOT a douche like Spencer and I'm nothing like Heidi but I just might understand how Heidi felt on The Hills....

When I first started "dating" in high school I remember hearing people say that your friend's and family's thoughts/impressions/opinions told you whether or not you really should be dating that person (or something along those lines). Basically, if your peoples don't approve, they probably see something you don't, and you should probably kick them to the curb.

I will be honest I have only had 2 boyfriends in my entire life. In high school I tended to just "talk" to a lot of guys but never anything serious outisde of my relationship with The Boo. I met my first boyfriend through a friend and I think that situation spoiled me. We were all close, we all hung out together, my boyfriend was friends with my friends and vice-versa. Yes, when we broke up I was kinda kicked out the clique for a while but when things got better we were all friends again and that's when I got together with my current.

Looking back on it now, I realized that almost nobody in my life really approved of my relationship with him and I let that affect our relationship. I broke up with him, treated him bad, etc. because I thought I needed to keep on searching for something better, something that my friends and family approved of.

When I got older I decided to trash that whole concept of my folks approving of the person I was dating because I found that I never met anyone or dealt with anyone that they actually approved of. I also stopped searching for the approval of others in my life but I have to say it's very hard to be in a relationship with a person that nobody wants to see you with.

I find myself doubting it, wondering if I am making the wrong choice, wondering how things will play out in the end because we are throwing around the capital M-word. I compartmentalize my life, never mixing The Boo with anything or anybody else. I'm incapable of talking to my friends about the relationship and now, I'm incapable of talking to him about my friends because they all seem to dislike each other for many different reasons.

I'm not looking for everyone to be best friends, I'm just looking for a comfortable situation with mutual respect. People on both sides claim to love me yet they can't respect my choice in friends or boyfriend.

I must add that there are 1, possibly 2 people in my life that are the exception to this.

So now I'm back to debating the same question I dealt with when I was 17. If your peoples don't approve does that mean it's really no good?

I hope Debbie was taking notes

2009-09-14T00:43:00.000-04:00

Just finished watching the VMAs and I hope BET and its ~~whack~~ CEO were taking notes on how an awards show is supposed to be and how to properly give a tribute to the greatest entertainer that ever lived.

This years VMAs started off with a wonderful speech from Madonna on her personal relationship with the King of Pop which I thought was very touching and also reminded us in a not too harsh way what the media scrutiny did to him. I thought it was fitting that an icon like Madonna introduced the tribute for a fellow icon.

The dance tribute was HOT! It wasn't all depressing like BETs tribute. JANET FREAKIN KILLED IT! It takes a strong woman to get up and perform like she did after only burying her brother like a week before. She looked great, her dancing was great, and MTV did an excellent job paying tribute.

Sadly, thanks to Kanye, people will be talking about his rude interruption of Taylor Swift's acceptance. While I don't think she should have won, Kanye had NO right jumping up there like that. It wasn't even HIS video that lost! And the poor lil girl looked so sad/lost when he gave the mic back. The moment sure did have my Facebook page jumping with status updates which is always fun.

Gotta give Bey props for letting Taylor Swift get her shine on though. I read a status that said she's got an amazing PR team and I totally have to agree; they steered her in the right direction

Other than those moments, I thought the performances were so so. Beyonce did her thing and I LOVED Jay-Z's performance with Alicia Keys...but umm who asked Lil' Mama to get on stage? Ugh I can't stand ~~him~~ her.

And I can't leave out Lady Gaga. I'm sure most folks asked themselves what she was wearing/doing everytime they showed her. But her performance was good, deep, and the girl can sing so I can't hate. But that bird's nest. thorny thingy she was rocking at the end of the night really threw me.

I LOVE IT!

2009-09-11T23:44:00.000-04:00

I only got it about a half an hour ago but I LOVE Jay-Z's new album The Blueprint 3.

I love it like I loved The Blueprint which I will admit was the first Jay-Z album I ever bought and the album that turned me into a real Jay-Z fan. From the first track I was feeling it. Now that I have listened to it all the way through and it's a winner!

So far this is one of my faves, "Already Home" which features Kid Cudi...

My memory of that fateful day

2009-09-11T19:36:00.000-04:00

On September 11, 2001 I was sitting in the library of St. Ursula Academy, my second bell was coming to an end (we were on block schedules ~~what you know bout that?~~). Our principle Frances Romweber came over the PA. Now you could almost always tell what kind of message we were about to get by the tone of her voice and the greet she began with.

"Ursula women listen up," she said.

She told us a plane had struck the first tower of the World Trade Center in NYC. It was about then I noted the librarian had her television on a few people were standing around it. I looked at the faces of my classmates, jaws were dropped, even my teacher was stopped. Everyone frantically went to CNN.com or their preferred news site and the image of the tower in flames popped on every screen.

I remember we only had about a 5 minute window between the announcement and the bell ringing so I had to tear myself away for 3rd bell. My teacher started class with a few tears and a prayer (I went to Catholic school so this was okay). By lunch, students were piled in the foryer of the school watching news converage and a few saw the second plane crash into the South tower . Some were crying, some were praying, the air was just thick with emotions.

And then I was hit with the realization that my sister lives in NYC. The tears came I just broke down. People that know me know I'm like obsessed with my sis I talk about her all the time. My Spanish teacher Mr. Fletcher walked over and said two words "your sister..."

That's all I really remember because I was a wreck the entire rest of the day worrying about her. Mind you she hardly ever goes down there except to hit up Century 21 an amazing discount store.

When I got home that night I discovered my sis was up for a temp job in the WTC that very day....she overslept and never made it. I praised and thanked God for his goodness and mercy that she never got up. But writing this blog made me think about all those who got up on time, went to work, and never made it home. I'm saying an extra prayer for them and their families tonight.

Song of the Day: Black Eyed Peas "Alive"

2009-09-10T12:30:00.000-04:00

I've never really been into the Black Eyed Peas. Sure some of their songs are catchy and of course they usually can make you dance. But I've never listened to anything past what they play in the club/on the radio.

My friend conviced me to download their CD and I actually took the time to listen to it (well I popped it in on an 8-hour drive home and the dance/techno-like beats kept me awake). One song I really liked was "Alive". It's catchy and although it's a bit of a break-up song, it's also a get-back-together song plus it's fun!

Shut up already!

2009-09-09T19:14:00.000-04:00

Now that the Obama speech is over and he has once again b*tch-slapped these fools that were crying out against him, people are going to pretend that racism and other issues didn't just pop up AGAIN here in America.

I totally agree with today's post on SMB. I don't know about anybody else but I remember having to edure watching Bush and his ~~evil spawn~~ son GW speak to me in elementary and high school. I also remember in social studies class or whatever class that was where we had to write letters to Clinton. Point is, the President is to be respected regardless because he's the President (duh!).

How could parents decide they don't want him to speak to their children? How could ~~mostly ignorant fools~~ conservatives think he would attempt to impose liberal and partisan ideas on the nation's kids? He was speaking to them all and honestly when I was 5, 12, even 15 I barely gave a damn about any of that, as long as taxes were low, I had healthcare, etc.

I think it's waaay past time for people to accept that Barack Obama is their President, YES he is a BLACK man, he said he was gonna do things and shake things up, and unfortunately for them more people wanted those shake ups and changes than you. So get over it already!

Check out the speech below:

Take Me Home

2009-09-08T01:38:00.002-04:00

Every so often in the middle of BET's The Game marathon a Tide commercial comes on that I love. It's a father and his son who has just gotten out of a bath. The father as wrapped his son in a crisp white towel and you can see they are having a nice father/son moment together...peep the commercial:

Not only do I love it because it shows a positive, black father/son relationship, but I actually listened to the words of the woman singing "take me home...".

I couldn't help but think of my own personal "crisp white towel" that bring me warmth and comfort. And, crazy as it may sound, that place is Cincinnati....The Nasty Nati, Porkopolis, etc.

Cincinnati is my home, my safety blanket, my safe haven if you will. Just the thought of home evokes a sense of comfort. No matter how broke, sick, or hurt I am, the minute I see Kings Island on I-71 when I'm driving in I feel 10 times better. It's where my family is and most of my friends and that is where my real comfort zone is. These are a few of my favorite things:

A Skyline Chili 3-way,
Walking around Eden Park or sitting on the benches looking over at Kentucky with The Boo or friends
Riding bikes with my father
A hefty scoop of Graeter's mocha chip ice cream or UDF Cookies and Cream
Shopping at Kroger's at 2 a.m. or whenever the spirit moves me
sitting on my Grandma Geneva's porch on Blair Ave. in the summers
cruising in my old Ford Escort with my girls around Avondale
Hitting the Avondale drive-thru just for a pop
Hearing people refer to Coke, Sprite, etc. as pop
Family dinners at my Grandma Katie's house and always wondering who would stroll in next
The Taste of Cincinnati
The Black Family Reunions (the way they used to be when folks were fighting every 5 secs)
Bengals games (though I haven't been to one since before high school)

I could go on forever. But here are some pics instead...

Weekend Update: How the Broke Do It

2009-09-07T20:18:00.002-04:00

Considering my current financial and living situation I was forced endure another boring weekend in the house. I manage to score a few dollars on Friday (thanks to my lovely sister D) and I enjoyed the feeling of having some money in my account for about a day until that feeling was stolen from me (thanks to Wachovia, the worst bank in America...oh and Washington Sports Club for ruining it too!). I did manage to make a trip to Target for some food basics and I did manage to put a little gas in the Jetta before my financial world came crashing down again.

I promised my aunt I would take my younger cousin to Old Navy to get some clothes since she literally came to college with enough clothes to last her about a week and a half (well I mean good clothes=not sweats). My cousin in 19, deaf, and beginning her freshman year at Gallaudet University. I will admit my family has done her kind of wrong. None of us learned sign language or even learned to communicate with her which in turn left her feeling as though she is not a part of the family. In fact, I'll admit she and I had our first "real" conversation a few years ago through text messages and AOL Instant Messenger. I can't leave out the fact that she has been treated like an adopted child by her own mother and well tapped for those amazing disability checks the government throws at the deaf.

When she moved to D.C. my family made it clear they wanted me to teach her how to dress. She's a basketballer and mostly a baggy sweats and big t-shirts kind of girl. She's also ballin on a budget so we hit up Old Navy to get her a few things. She made it clear she needed no help from me and she even picked a couple cute outfits for herself (she did decide to trash the cutest one she put together). Because I still have yet to learn sign language, we typed Blackberry messages to each other and things went rather smoothly.
Dropping her off at her dorm afterwards, I watched her sign and laugh with her other deaf friends. I think I'm gonna have to ask her for some lessons...

The rest of the weekend I spent in the house with The Boo. We watched the BET marathon of the "The Game". I even popped in "Dreamgirls" last night and we shared some laughs. It was honestly the most fun we've had together in a while.
This morning I got a call from my mother and sister D. I had called my mother on Sunday feeling a little distraught about my financial situation and she made it clear she "couldn't deal with crisis" at the time. So she decided to deal with it this morning by jumping on my case about getting yet another job (I'm currently working two and if I ever get financial aid that will be 3). She said several times I needed to go get a job at the White House (because you can totally just walk up to the front door and put in an application for any job you desire) and that I needed to "get off my butt and do something."
I ended up hanging up on them.

Totally not looking forward to a week of waking up at 6:00 every morning and fighting Howard for my financial aid. Sometimes I just wish I could drop out.

Trey Songz' Ready

2009-09-06T15:59:00.000-04:00

Trey didn't disappoint me this time (I hated his last album, sorry). But this newest release, Ready, is HOTT! I can listen to basically every song and his voice sounds amazing. You can tell this a man that can really sing! And he's looking pretty sexy on the album cover, ~~thank God he cut off the braids~~! Below is the song I've been tapping the repeat button on this week: "I Invented Sex" which also features Drake...

The importance of family

2009-09-02T20:24:00.000-04:00

Family is something that means something different to everyone and every family. It's a personal thing. Each person has their own idea on what role family has, what family is supposed to be or do, and really how important family is to them.

General these ideas are the same within families. You develop these notions because you were raised on them and you adopt them, they become apart of you. Occasionally, there are those that say "umm no" and they develop their own, new ideas or notions of family.

Now personally, I say family is the backbone. The people you will get down for no matter what and you know will get down for you (you have to admit even in extreme cases such as addictions, financial factors, etc.). The word unconditional love comes to mind. Family is the reason you have life and at the end of the day, your family is still your family. You have the same blood running through your veins, you are linked together in ways that really cannot be fully understood.

As I previously stated there are always those that don't seem to catch that same outlook in a family unit that predominantly feels the same way. It's a hard thing dealing with a family member that to me has no sense of family.

I have one such family member who has of late decided to show their true colors. At this point in my life I am dealing with some difficult situations and I will honestly say am my lowest. It's times such as these that you are to call on your family which for the most part has come through but this family member has made it clear they can't be called on. I struggle with this because I know that my father, would have moved mountains for her and practically did when he was alive and had the capabilities. Her father, the kindest man anyone had ever met (I heard this from everyone when I was child), would probably be disappointed in her actions.

I am not upset with her, I'm honestly not harboring any anger (even though I've devoted an entire blog post to the situation) I'm simply disappointed. As with most things I have learned from this. I have learned that if and when I have the means to help my family members I will do what I can for them. When my brother goes off to college I will break my neck to make sure that he is taken care of and when my future neices and nephews go to college or simply need something from me I will help them any way that I can. I promise myself that I will not let this rub off on me. I will continue to keep my ideals of family and it's purpose and importance.

Ok that's my rant for the day :-)...C

Song of the Day: Kanye West "All Falls Down"

2009-09-01T21:48:00.003-04:00

This is one of my favorite Kanye songs. It comes from his first album The College Dropout which was back in the days when he was talking about things.

In the second verse he talks about being self-conscious and trying to stunt when you really don't have the means to do it.

I think stunting can mean more than just in reference to material things like buying that new Louis Vuitton or putting 22s on your truck. Sometimes we stunt with our feelings. We pretend we're something we're not on the emotional side and when it hits that it's not really you you're pretending to be or you get in over your head it all falls down on you. I think he poses a good question in the chorus...

When it falls down who you gon' call now?

Not My Cup of Lipton's

2009-08-31T17:46:00.018-04:00

So being that I am now an "old-head" on Howard's campus (I really don't belong there anymore but can't seem to get away!) I find myself looking at this new generation of Howard students and I have to shake my head. Yes, I admit I am getting old I realize it more and more when my little cousins ask me about the hot new group of cuties I am clueless to who they are and what that new dance is they're doing in the video.

But I've been taking a good glance at these young Howard men on campus and I notice an ongoing look amongst quite a few of them. Jeans are tight and skinny, yet they still manage to hang low on their butts. Colors are bright. Bright jeans, bright kicks, brights t-shirts, etc.

Is it bad if I hate it? This whole 80's punk nerd swag is not really my cup of tea. I could dig it at first when guys were bringing back the dookie chains, nylon, and bright high-top sneakers but I'm a little over it.

I'm not saying I miss the days of throwback jerseys, ultra saggy and baggy jeans with the boxers showing, Timberland's and plain white Air Forces, and men doing that I been out on the block all day/night thing.

Anyone that knows me, I mean really knows me knows I had lil thing for thuggish type of guy. But to the delight of my mother and friends I think I've grown out of this phase. I love a man that can tastefully do the urban thing but clean it up and rock a suit or other stylish get up and look nice as well. These are guys that can do just what I'm talking about...

Now if you get past the face (which I can, something about Jay is kind of sexy) he's got it!

T.I. is another great example...he cleans up so nicely!

Pharrell Williams...he's got this style I just love!

When do you know it’s time to throw in the towel?

2009-08-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

I never seem to know when to myself.

It's something I've been thinking about for the past week though.

I've been examining every detail, every part of my relationship with my boyfriend and I have asked myself if we are beating a dead horse at this point.

We've been doing this thing on and off for the past 7 years. We've had so many problems, so many trials, until recently others have come and gone for both of us. We've both had to do some growing up (I will admit mostly me). But this last time that we've gotten back together I pledged to myself that it was going to be different. I told myself before when even got back together that when we were back together we would be doing this thing for real. But as of right now, I'm struggling to figure out what that even means.

I thought it meant me being the woman he always wanted to be: a loving, faithful girlfriend, a nice person and not an evil bitch, looking at our relationship and moving it towards the future. There were certain problems that I knew existed, a number of them had existed since we first met back in good old 2002, but I had somehow managed to convince myself that they could be worked out, dealt with, and gotten over.

But the more time that goes on I'm wondering if we should have left us alone. As previously stated I have issues with letting go. Part of the reason I never just let things go was because I didn't want to have to deal with the pain of getting over him and I knew it would take quite a while. I've always been the one to do the breaking up to later regret the decision and I've always been the one left working my ass off to fix things. But this time I'm wondering if we should have left this alone a long time ago.

I hear about married couples and people taking years to make the decision to leave the person they are married to. Or women who keep going back to men time after time until they've made decision to really remove themselves from the situation.

But when you're not married or getting in your ass kicked how do you know when it's time to throw in the towel on a relationship? How do you bring yourself to end something you're not really sure you want to end in the first place?

I remember seeing this video the last time I was begging him to take me back and I just related so much. I feel like it's kind of appropriate now....

If we never make mistakes…

2009-08-29T21:10:00.002-04:00

Wouldn't life be semi-boring? Would we ever really learn thing in life? How could we know our boundaries? How do we discover our strengths and weakneses?

Yes, there are some mistakes, very serious ones, where you do things and for a long time (sometimes your whole life) you wish you had never made them. But there are also mistakes, those really bad ones included, that shape you and make you who you are.

My sister is 17 year older than myself. So that means by the time I was born, she had gone through quite a few of those life things that we all must go through. Things that are painful, unpleasant, etc. As she watched me become an adult she attempted to shield me from those things. She attempted to save me time by telling me upfront what would happen if I were to do certain things and she always worked to steer me in the direction that would cause me the least pain.

Now there were some instances where I admit, she told me to or not to do certain things, and I did them anyways. Giving it up to Hooking up with that cute, football player, stud type who inevitably took my heart and flicked it down on the ground. But even after the pain, I learned what I was capable of, what kind of man I wanted, etc.

What makes me crazy are those individuals who give you advice on a subject, demand that you follow it, and even though you know they are only thinking of you, they get upset when you don't do exactly what they tell you to. What's even worse is when they get so upset that you don't take their advice that they shun you, push you away, put some sort of stigma on you.

My sis has a quote on her Facebook that begins "you are my friend when you can guard my failures…". That is one thing that many do not do and only few of us are lucky enough to find a friend like that. A real friend will not kick you when you are down. To me they won't hit with that "told you so" bullsh*t.

In the past year I will admit I have made my share of mistakes, many that were preventable had I simply heeded the advice and warnings of others. But many of these mistakes have taught me valuable lessons. I think it's always different when you have to experience that pain or go through a struggle rather than just hearing about it. As long as I never make the same mistakes twice, I think I'm good. I hope one of these days I can just start listening to others and stop putting myself through so much crap.

The best sandwich like ever!

2009-08-26T18:18:00.005-04:00

I'm sitting at work, hungry, thinking about all of the wonderful food I could be having right now (if I wasn't broke) and my mind keeps wandering back to a sandwich I ordered at Cosi's.

I had Cosi's for the first time last week. My friends had gone and raved about it. I pass by there all the time. I was running late for work when I ascended from the Dupont Circle metro and my legs transported me into Cosi's.

I ordered a Grilled Chicken TBM but with no tomatoes (yuck) so that meant grilled chicken breast, basil, fresh mozzarella, this amazing Cosi vinagrette dressing...HEAVEN! I'm salivating...

Back to life…back to reality

2009-08-22T12:52:00.002-04:00

So I have neglected my blog for the past couple weeks. I was in Cincinnati and I can't lie I wasn't doing much of anything! I could go into the details of the trip but I don't really feel there's much need, there's not much to report. I looked pretty much like that furry thing up there most of the time.

Things have still been somewhat rocky between me and The Boo although we are still together. He lost his brother while I was home. The guy was the same age as me and he had been paralyzed from a gunshot he received about a year ago. I think the fact that he was my age and had to die as a result of the crazy crime in Cincinnati has really tripped me out. We're constantly hearing about out black men getting shot and killed out there but it's never been this close to home.

My neglect of the blog also led to a neglect of all my other favorite blogs! I've been trying to play catch up on so many of them but one thing I've been reading about has really got me fuming. Why are people in an uproar because Michelle Obama wore shorts?

I can't figure it out. I understand the whole fascination with the Obama's because they are black or whatever the reason is, but we're going to make a big deal about her shorts??? Don't we have other things to worry about like finding that reality TV guy that killed his wife, Miley Cyrus' new boyfriend, or the Obama healthcare plan? Let's focus on something slightly more important please America.

I'm going to cut this short…the Fam is here this weekend so I'm sure there will be more to come in the weekend update!

Afternoon Ramblings…

2009-07-30T16:17:00.002-04:00

I'm really messed…I just realized it.

I'm sitting here having another fight with my soon-to-be ex boyfriend an eating some pancakes (because that's all the food I have at this point) and I am just struggling to chew these thick-ass fluffy ass pancakes. I realize I don't even really like pancakes.

I will eat them, of course, they are a great breakfast staple but only if I have to. I only have the pancake mix because I had brunch here for some friends earlier this summer and it's the last thing I have left.

More, deeper realizations I've tried to ignore hit me:

I wish I had never gone to Howard University. Yes, this has truly been an experience. I've met some amazing as well as not-so-amazing people during my time here. Howard has changed me for the better and for the worst. It's true what they say about Howard, after you're gone there's somebody out there that's gonna look up to the fact that you went there even though you know it really aint shit. I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't come to Howard I would be out of undergrad by down and I probably wouldn't be in so much debt. But hey maybe the grass just looks greener on the other side. Then again when I am out of this horrid place/phase I'm in right now AND undergrad I will probably (fuck that) look back at HU with much fondness…maybe.
I want to get married….like NOW. I told my girls at dinner that while I did wanna get married, I wasn't ready yet. I'm probably right but there is a nagging feeling inside of me that wants it now. Maybe it's because I see so many others around me doing it, maybe I want a "permanent" end to the loneliness I've been enduring for the past few years, maybe I'm just afraid I will end up like my mom or sister. 50 and married for the first time, 40 never married and no kids. I want to overcome that!
I don't know how to let go. I mean of anything. I thought having lost a parent at the age of 12 and several loved ones only a few years later and in a short time that I would learn the act of letting go. I never did. Probably because I don't think I've let my dad go. I tuck people and things in some place in my mind and I just don't deal with it until I absolutely have to. When that time comes I usually don't deal with it well and sometimes I go through these breakdowns. That would explain why when I have these vivid dreams about my father I wake up in tears and I have to hold them back for the rest of the day until I can push him back into that place where I don't have to deal with it.
I have let a man rob me of my confidence. I don't even need to discuss it.
I don't know what this is called but I have picked several fights with my boyfriend and been an all-out bitch to him this week over nothing while he is dealing with being homeless. There is an underlying reason but I still can't bring myself to tell anyone what it really is because then I feel like I will be on a clock, counting down how much more time it will take for us to break up. There's probably some psychological explanations for this.
I don't know how to or like to make decisions. From where me and a friend are having dinner to where I'm going to college (see #1). Even after making the decision to make my own decisions I have fallen short. I feel that I don't know how to make good ones because the ones I've made haven't been that great (but then again the ones others have made for me or have influenced me to make haven't ALWAYS been either so I'm just screwed).
I let other people's thoughts/opinions influence my decisions. Take a look at #1 again. I wouldn't have chosen Howard in the end but I kept getting that extra push from my family because they wanted to see me leave Cincinnati and get away from Ted more importantly.
I'm a bitch. Just a straight up bitch. I wasn't always like this either. I have been trying to figure out where in the past 5 years I have gone wrong, it was probably Howard.
I don't like kids but I can't wait to have one of my own. Doesn't make much sense…
I am the one and only reason I'm still in undergrad. I said it. I have blamed professors I have blamed HU, I have blamed financial aid but in the end, I've been the biggest thing standing in my way. I spent so much time trying do things my own way, not conform to the HU bullshit like being a suck up and so on and look where it has landed me.

Like I said, I don't know where this has come from but I'm going to stop at 10 even though there are so many more. I need to get back to packing and finding something else to eat since the pancakes have failed me…

Song of the Day: Clipse "I'm Good"

2009-07-28T16:17:00.000-04:00

For me there is nothing better than a N.E.R.D./Neptunes beat (well besides Kanye's of course). I love them.

I'm really feeling the second of two singles from their new album Till The Casket Drops called "I'm Good". Maybe I'm just feeling the beat and Pharrell's echo underneath their rapping but I had to make this my song of the day, it's going hard on the iPod....

I’m getting the ich…

2009-07-28T13:58:00.005-04:00

So I did say that I'm girl that loves fashion.

Unfortunately, the current financial climate in my life has severely impacted my ability to satisfy my hunger for the fashion I so desire. I remember the days when I would stay up, perusing my favorite sites like Nordstrom.com, Torrid.com, NeimanMarcus (I told you champagne tastes, Wild Irish Rose budget) scoping out the what I wanted and needed and loved! Nowadays I spend my nights checking Craigslist, Idealist, and blogging (WOMP!).

But today I couldn't take it anymore. I'm on a high from securing an internship for the Fall (God is good all the time!) and I just started going at it like they are going to be paying me in this internship…they aren't. Just a few of the teasers…

This cute little number is actually only $15.80 at Forever 21

I CANNOT WAIT to try out their plus-size line.

I can just see the potential in this dress…Torrid models almost never look good in the clothes….

A girl can never have too many maxi dresses

I've been eyeing this bag for waaay too long.

*Sigh*...I had to stop when i felt a little foam forming in my mouth...

Song of the Day

2009-07-27T10:02:00.002-04:00

I'm taking back, all the way back to high school.

Back then this song was just another dance song I used to laugh at with my black friends and dance crazy to with my white friends.

Last night I was ironing my hair, iTunes was on shuffle, and this came on. I was already in a weird mood and something had me actually listening to the words and I was like "wow this is kinda deep".

An excerpt from the 2^nd verse:

You think you've got it
Ohh, you think you've got it
But got it just don't get it
Till' there's nothing at
AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaallllll..
We get together
Ohh, we get together
But seperate's always better when there's feelings
InvooooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOlved
If what they say is "Nothing is forever"
Then what makes, Then what makes, Then what makes
Then what makes, Then what makes LOOVVEEE?
(Love exception) So why you, why you
Why you, why you, why you are we so in denial
When we know we're not happy heeeerrreeee...
Y'all don't want me here you just wanna dance

Despite his sometimes strange delivery, Andre 3K does delivery knowledge!

Weekend Update

2009-07-26T13:57:00.005-04:00

Yet another, mostly uneventful weekend has come and gone in this dreary summer.

I did get a text from Abba (I feel safe using his name because NOBODY knows what it really is, I usually identify him by his nationality lol) on Friday night asking to hang out on Saturday.

Background: we dated for a few months. I started off liking him but cultural differences and his over-all awkwardness just really turned me off. He also drunk-dialed/text me waaay too many times and he was flaky (always making plans and never coming through on any of them). I'd also started talking to the Jamaican after him which eventually just cancelled him out. I will admit he was totally gentleman at most times and a genuinely nice guy.

I alerted him to my dire financial situation but he insisted that he was inviting me out so it was on him. I was hesitant, but when he hit me up Saturday night I said yes to a movie. Now this was 100% NOT a date to me, I was bored and I needed out of the house (no I didn't tell The Boo where I was going…another one of those issues when you're in a long-distance relationship. I also didn't tell Abba that I was with somebody…I probably should have).

I know I'm about a month late but we saw The Hangover which was freakin hilarious! Another instance where I judged the preview and said "no thanks" immediately and then I was proven wrong. I had been hearing that it was good and it actually was! I might have to get that one on DVD cause it can surely bring laughter on a bad day.

So everything was going good until after the movie. I just wanted to go home, he wanted to drink…he wanted to get a bottle, go somewhere and get drunk. What?!?

I agreed to go with him to a bar and we ended up at BW3s (which I had been craving anyways) and I ordered a beer (the most unsexy drink ever (yuck!)) and he got wings for us. I had to endure the awkward moment of eating with him where he dropped a wing on himself and the floor and struggled to figure out just how he wanted to eat them. Then he wanted me to get another drink (ugh!).

Sidenote: I haven't been drinking nearly as much as I used to. Alcohol has soo many calories (which is probably why I put on so much weight last year, I've been broke, and now my tolerance is down or something.

I quickly downed another drink (mistake!) and I was ready to bounce. I felt soo sick on the way home. When he pulled up at my house I practically jumped out of the car for fear I was going to throw up. We had our awkward good-bye and I vowed to never
ever do anything like that again. When the time is right I will tell him that I do have a boyfriend and we can go back to not talking to each other. Thanks.

Song of the Day

2009-07-24T10:24:00.005-04:00

If you don't have that new Maxwell album BLACKsummers'night, please immediately go purchase it (especially if you're a fan). I've never bought a Maxwell cd before, I listened to his music before but I am thankful to be old enough to appreciate his music now that he's back (and sexier than ever if you ask me). I've been playing this song Stop the World nonstop but the whole CD goes hard! I just wish there were more songs. Check it out and Youtube some of the other songs if you're skeptical :-)

Late-night Ramblings/Randomness

2009-07-24T03:22:00.002-04:00

I feel like I've totally been out of it these past two weeks.

Just got back from a weekend in NYC on Monday and put my brother on a plane back to Ohio before more family came Tuesday evening to bring a cousin to Gallaudet. Between helping them get her settled, working, and taking them site seeing, I have worn myself out (never really recovered from NYC in the first place).

They just hit the road for Ohio (not sure why at 2 am) and now I can't get back to sleep! Started catching up on my blog reading and finding out what's going on in the world.

One topic that's creating a lot of buzz is the birth of Nas and Kelis' son Knight. Poor thing was in labor for like 3 days and seemingly alone since they wouldn't let Nas in the room. Is anybody else just sick at the fact that they are divorcing?? I always looked at the two a certain way, they gave me hope in black love/marriage or something. Now all we've got is Beyonce and Jay-Z. At least the judge is making Nas give her some moolah cause the girl hasn't had a hit in a while.

Next, this Chris Brown apology video (SMH). Didn't this alleged beatdown happen like 4 months ago? Why is this story even relevant? And what does Chris Brown owe us? And why do we still care? I guess there were legal reasons why he couldn't apologize before but did his PR reps really think it was a good idea to remind us of what he did? I think that is about all of the energy I can give to that subject…I've been over that and Rihanna since February.

I was going to do a weekend update about my mini-vacay but I don't have much to talk about (so sad). Went to NYC but couldn't FULLY enjoy myself because I'm super duper broke. This summer has sucked in the financial department. Ran into my sister's ex (most awkward moment of my life), went to Coney Island for the first time and loved it, and spent Sunday in Brooklyn. I have to devote an entire sentence to the fact that I got both corn and a catfish burrito from Habana Café which made my whole trip!

At this point I'm just praying to the Lord to get me through this week and then I'm all about the Nasty Nati!

I want to but I just can't!

2009-07-20T19:23:00.002-04:00

Ok so this Steve Harvey book Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man is kind of like that dumb movie you've seen the previews for, mentally told yourself you were never going to go see it, and then when it came out found out that everybody else saw it and thought it was amazing! You're kind of like what? You actually liked that??

When I first heard that Steve Harvey was coming out with a book on relationships I was like umm no thanks. What is funny-man Steve Harvey gonna tell me?

Aparently he told some women a lot because the book became hit! Everybody was talking about it (nobody could get past that 90-day rule he said women should impose) and it seemed women were learning to act like a lady but think like a man. Even my sister snagged a copy and raved about it to me and how much I needed to read it. I said I would get a copy but of course never did so she broke down and bought one for me which I got when I went to visit this weekend (more on that in another post).

I brought the book into work with me and all it took was a glance at the chapters and their descriptions to make me throw the book down on the desk and back away like a giant spider came crawling out of it. I'm not quite sure I'm ready to read this! The damn table of contents has already confirmed several of my fears/ideas about men and I just don't know if I can handle it!

I brought my lil ghetto, thug-drama book I've been trying to finish for weeks as well, I think I'm gonna stick with that for now. Please believe when I finally do pick up this book and start reading there will be lots of posts with thoughts!

The truth is for the hoes…

2009-07-12T11:12:00.005-04:00

"I'm out here tellin these hoes the truth! I lie to you because I care about yo feelings, girl!"

As a black person (or a white person who occasionally let's their TV idle on BET for a couple hours) might find recognize those words of Jody, the protagonist in the John Singleton movie Baby Boy. It comes from the part of the movie where Jody's baby momma and girl, Yvette, finds out that Jody's been creepin around and of course doin what n*ggas do best lying (please forgive me men but I feel it's the truth). Everybody knows and probably laughs all through that scene when they get to arguing, he hits her, and then goes and gives her some head to make up for it (like a n*gga would be still able to walk steadily on two legs out of my house, let alone the bedroom, after laying hands on me).

But this quote from this particular part of the movie just can't go unnoticed. Lying to the person you love because you're trying to save your ass you care about their feelings. I think almost everyone can say they are guilty of it, from something big to something small.

Girl: Does this top look ok with these shoes?

Boy: Yeah, baby, you look great…(Umm I can see all your fat rolls in that tiny ass top.)

Boy Scorned: So how many times did you fuck him?

Cheatin Sista: 2. (5…wait there was that night in the hot tub…6.)

Of course we all beg for honesty, I think we are deserving of honesty. But I think by this point we all know the truth hurts. Yes, the man asks how many times his girl slept with another guy, but all he really needed to know was that it happened, right? Knowing the details only make him feel worse, right? HOWEVER, his girl is lying to him, isn't that wrong? If and when the truth comes out wouldn't that just create another, possibly bigger problem in the future?

While I would love to say honesty is the best policy, I'm guilty of being in both scenarios and in both roles at one time or another (well not quite sure about the first one lol).

Every time I watch Baby Boy and this scene comes up I always think about how this is the sad reality for relationships and it's so f*cked up what they're doing. I wanna give some great commentary about how people should just be honest and not lie but I cannot. I can only come up with more questions.

When you're in a relationship, you of course shouldn't be engaging in behavior that's going to put you in that situation in the first place but that is just the nature of the beast. However, one may argue why continue to lie to the person you love?

On the other side of the fence, you love the person you are with, not the person you messed around with. You love the person you are with, even if they are a little thicker, you like it (you just need them to buy clothes in their size). You know that telling them that they look fat or that they cheated is really going to hurt their feelings, would start a big argument, and could put a relationship that you want in jeopardy.

I need thoughts on this…

Would YOU have dated a man named Barack Obama 10 years ago?

2009-07-09T11:30:00.002-04:00

I guess I'm on an article kick today. I found this while doing my usual blog browse on seveneighteen. I have to admit, I'm one of those women that dismiss men for the small stuff (I sometimes wonder how I'm with The Boo for some of the stuff he does). However, when I look back at most of the fools I've "dated" I don't think I'm going to be missing out on much lol. Enjoy!

What single woman can learn from Michelle Obama.

America has fallen for the Obamas. The history, the high glamour, the PDAs on the White House lawn. It's a universal picture of love. But for many successful black women, with college degrees, ambitious careers and five-year plans, that enchantment has become something of an obsession.

Those of us hoping to find suitable mates in a dating landscape that is, statistically speaking, pretty grave, are absolutely giddy about the very existence of the first family and especially about the possibility that we could find our own Barack.

We'd give up three hair appointments in a row, our designer puppies and that annual tropical vacation with our best grad-school friends to meet a man like him. Brilliant. Confident. Best smile ever. So into his wife. On the cover of April's issue of Washingtonian magazine, he appears shirtless to illustrate the publication's No. 2 reason to love D.C. ("Our new neighbor is hot!") But if we'd first encountered him the way Michelle did, as a regular guy, under the glow of office lights instead of the spotlight, would he have made our lists at all?

In footage that plays when the networks mention how our cool, young, black president shot hoops with his staff and friends on Election Day, Obama is close to gawky in a simple gray T-shirt tucked in just a bit too tightly. Between plays, you notice tapered pants pulled up a little too high. A slightly skinny build. In those few frames, he's not the hottest guy on the court, let alone in the country. When he appeared as a presidential candidate on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, my initial swoon as he stepped on stage was short-lived. He playfully hip-bumped the host in an overly bouncy dance routine that embarrassed me into looking away. Suddenly, I was watching my boss get down at the company Christmas party or a friend's dad grooving to Earth, Wind and Fire at her wedding. Not bad. Endearing, even. But "swagga" did not spring to mind. Sure, Obama is a dad and a boss to many . . . but I get the impression he's been dancing like that his whole life.

I've played matchmaker, unsuccessfully, for scores of black professional women. And I'm convinced that Michelle's got something on many of us. Not her intelligence or her confidence or sense of style, her glowing skin or the carved silhouette of her arms. I could fill a room with friends who have all these qualities to spare. I'm talking about the choices I imagine she made in those crucial moments between meeting Barack and deciding who he would be to her. She must have focused on an abundance of goodness instead of his hint of goofiness and fixated on a warm smile instead of a pair of oversized ears. It's easy to see now that he was a great catch, but how many of us would have been open to this guy who strayed so far from the black Prince Charming ideal, starting with his very name?

Click here to read the rest…

Sometimes people disgust me

2009-07-09T10:48:00.005-04:00

I don't know if you've read the story of the black kids asked to leave a Philadelphia swim club because managers feared the kids would rape, rob, and kill the white folks "change the complexion of the pool". Click here to read the story.

The article says the day camp, Creative Steps, is looking for a new pool for the kids to attend but they also need to have someone looking for a lawyer to sue the mess out of the swim club. This Valley Swim club sounds like one of those places that let one black family join so they can say they are open.

Now one may be tempted to say in the age of Obama, how can this ish still go on? How can this go down in the "City of Brotherly Love"? But even the Obama's are targets of ignorance, stupidity, and people that can't seem to let go of ideas from 1842 and it's sad. I, however, just cannot be surprised anymore. From the Jena 6 situation, the N-bomb flying out of every white person's mouth, attacks on the beautiful Michelle Obama, and this, I am concerned about how racism has been showing its ugly face so frequently in 2009.

I hope this lights a fire under the people of Philly. I pray that the kids find themselves another, better pool to swim in and justice for what the swim club has done.

When you decide to break the rules…

2009-07-07T12:00:00.003-04:00

I just heard some real bad news.

I think that Kanye song is fitting right now.

I was perusing Facebook, trying to find something to keep me from crying about the fact that Michael Jackson is gone and I stumbled upon the fact that a very good friend of mines, who I will admit right here for the first time that I have feelings for, is engaged!

Now don't get me started on this massive wave of young people I know getting married these days. It's bananas but more power to them, I am not a hater. According to others my thinking is all off and these are days we're supposed to be marrying and having kids.

This is probably going to sound kind of messed up but I was totally planning on confessing my feelings! I probably would have done it before but 1. I'm shy, 2. Last time I was at home, he wasn't in town and I wasn't about to text, FB message, or any other non-verbal of communicating that ish.

It's my fault, I had a chance to tell him everything but considering I'm always saying that's not my style, I never did. When we were 16, he finally told me he'd liked me since the 7^th grade but he was too scared to tell me, he thought he wasn't good enough. It made me feel good at the time but he wasn't saying he wanted to be with me and I was with someone else so I didn't really deal with it. After he confessed, for years every time we would come home for breaks and chill he would tell me how he liked me, we would cuddle, we even kissed once but that was so bad I took it as a sign we were meant to be friends.

But lately, he had really been on my mind. I didn't even know he was in a relationship. I'd reached out to him last time I was home we talked for a while and I should have noticed something was different then. Now he's engaged and every freaking time I log on to Facebook I get the little reminder.

I guess he'll never know how I feel now, I certainly couldn't tell him now that he's engaged. I guess I'll do like they sang in that movie and say little prayer for him and his future wifey. Moral of the story: you snooze you lose.

4th of July weekend catch-up

2009-07-06T20:52:00.004-04:00

Ugh, after a lazy week last week and a fun weekend enjoying the nation's capitol, it's Monday and back to the usual.

I was off all week (which is going to kick my bank accounts butt next week). My plans for the 4^th were all over the place. Friday night I went for a late night walk on The Mall with the girls. We got down there around 10:30, there weather was nice, and there were a surprising number of people out. We walked from the Washington Monument to the WWII Memorial, and then to the Lincoln Monument. Everything looked so nice and pretty at night but I could have done without the walk along the dark, scary paths between the monuments. Oh and the bugs, yuck!

Saturday I headed to a small family cookout in the afternoon which was fun. Then I met the girls on The Mall for the fireworks. There were so many people, whack live music, and we had a great spot in front of the Washington Monument. It was fun experiencing Independence Day in Washington. I imagine Inauguration would have been fun like that if we had actually made it onto The Mall that day. I spread my little leopard print blanket out on the grass and chilled out for a few hours until dark. I thought the fireworks were some of the best I'd ever seen but according to some locals the recession had even hit the fireworks this year. My digital camera is no-more so hopefully my friends will put up the pics so I can post them too.

I really needed this weekend to enjoy myself and take my mind off some things. I've been having some serious issues with The Boo, almost to the point where I'm not really sure we're still going to be together for long. I don't really want to get into the details but things are NOT going good. I know that he is going through quite a lot now, I'm trying to be there for him but it's hard when I'm not there physically. I am hoping his visit to D.C. and an upcoming trip home can help the situation…

Speaking of home…

My family is coming! Not just to visit me exactly. Little Bruh and Lil cousin are coming out next Monday. My family purchased tickets into Baltimore and I've been left with the task of transporting the youngsters to NYC for a week with my Big Sis. Then I get a 3 day break before my aunt, her husband (no I DO NOT claim this man as my uncle), and my college-bound cousin come to town to get her settled in for her summer program. And then after that I hope to have The Boo out for a few days and then I'm headed to Cincinnati!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at all that delicious goodness right there. I can just taste the Skyline, UDF Cookies and Cream, and Penn Station cheese steaks already (I know I'm doing the most with my food visions). I've got weddings, family reunions, dress fittings, and lots of hookah smoking on my mind as well s I'm hoping this is going to be a good trip. I need a little break from the DC life and to me nothing is better than a Cincy summer.

For some reason this song was going through my head as I wrote this post…my song of the day.

Time for something new

2009-07-06T19:58:00.001-04:00

So I realized I'm not feeling the current layout of my blog. I'm about to make some changes, play around with different layouts and figure out which one I like.

Random, I know.

kanYe West : Blog : DRAKE VIDEO!

2009-07-02T10:17:00.005-04:00

This is a joke right? A pointless video with a bunch of girls in low-cut tops jumping up and down in slow motion? The video has absolutely NOTHING to do with the song and I'm rather disappointed in you Kanye. I sure hope they don't come up with some deep explanation for this video like they did with Flashing Lights...

la douleur exquise

2009-06-27T02:18:00.002-04:00

The literal English translation: the exquisite pain. This is also translated as having and unattainable love or being with someone but really loving someone else but for this post, I'll explore what this phrase means literally. La douleur exquise episode of Sex and the City. Carrie was distraught, wondering why she continued to put herself in the position for Mr. Big to hurt her again. She thought maybe she just liked it, maybe she enjoyed it.

I thought about this phrase this morning. I had gone to dinner with a friend and she was telling me about a lil rendezvous with a guy she'd been on and off with. Their situation is what I would consider less-than ideal and kind of shady, it continues. While my situations are somewhat different, I thought about myself and how I've tended to go back to guys who have done me no good. I wonder what it is was that made me keep going back for more. And I know I'm not the only person guilty of this. We complain when we're dealing with it, we complain when we're not.

I think about those into bondage and fetish; people that get off on the pain and then I think about a phrase my sister and I use damn near every other day: the worse you treat em, the more they love you.

When you're mean, show little interest, or act like you don't really care for example, that person you're involved with is all up in yours and can't get enough of it! When the guy you're feeling is blowing you off, being very nonchalant about you, and not showing much interest you're wracking your brain and going all crazy. You may not realize it but it's true, you feel some kinda way! Prime example: my boyfriend and I who's relationship has been a back and forth of us treating each other like crap. When I look back on the things I've done I'm just like why did he stick around? Though I'm thankful he did, I wonder how he handled it. Was he getting off on the abuse? Did he really like it deep down somewhere?

My question is when does the game stop? When does pain stop becoming "pleasurable" and the pleasurable things really become pleasure?

Our betrothed waitress at Hooters tonight said she misses being single because she misses the "game". The whack *ss game of trying to figure another person out and how they feel about you because they just can't cut the bullsh*t and say what's real to you. That's one game I don't think I'll ever miss.

I’m still trying to deal

2009-06-26T18:35:00.005-04:00

MIIIIIIIICCCCHHHHHHAAAAAAAEEEEEEELLLL!!!!!

I know I commented last night but I have spent most of my day watching this MTV tribute to MJ and I'm just like DAYUM he is dead!

Okay it's a common fact that people die. We know this. But this is one of those situations where a dumb comment like "he can't die" or "I just never imagined Michael Jackson dying" can be said.

I'm a MJ fan. I was born in the mid-80s so I don't remember the Beat It, Thriller, Billie Jean days as vividly as like my sister. I don't remember seeing folks in their leather jackets with the sleeves rolled, studded gloves, and Jheri curls but they were showing his videos even when I was coming up like they had just come out the night before. My grandma would let me watch BET and VH-1 secretly (the TV would quickly go to Nickelodeon when it came time for my mom to pick me up). I remember seeing the "Leave Me Alone" video almost every day and it was my SH*T! I went through a phase where I wanted to play my mom's old records and the Jackson 5's ABC went hard! He spanned generations. And PLEASE don't get me started on The Wiz. I checked that movie out from the library faithfully. I felt so bad for the scarecrow when the crows were talkin smack. He just captured me.

Watching all of his videos, seeing his performances, and hearing his songs on the radio today made me realize that everything these little pop stars and even rappers are doing and saying and dancing today came from Michael. I heard some songs from him that I had heard in a remake by somebody else and I had no idea he had influenced certain songs. He is an American cultural icon. When people from other countries think of American music, Michael is one of the first people they think of.

Despite his questionable behavior and skin color Michael is a Black man who made EVERYONE love the music. It was just about the music and it had Blacks, Whites, Asians, Arabs, fat people, skinny people, sick people, everyone was grooving to his music. He was a performer and even the haters had to admit the man could dance, he could sing, he could entertain it was just undeniable.

The scope of the impact his death has had on people amazes me, not sure why. Almost every Facebook status was a RIP and pledge of prayers for the Jackson family. MTV completely stopped broadcasting for a few hours and just started playing his videos. E! was broadcasting live talking to celebs getting their reactions. This was as big as the night Barack Obama was elected President. International stories, impacting everyone.

I can't end this post without mentioning those people disrespecting the dead and the accomplishments of a music legend. Bringing up his financial woes, the molestation allegations, his personal issues is all unnecessary. Despite the things that may have gone down later in his life, those things cannot overshadow his career or his accomplishments. Haters, can we refrain from disrespecting the dead?

Rest in peace to the King of Pop…prayers for the Jackson family. I'm gonna go watch The Wiz now!

This is bad, real bad....Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T00:53:00.003-04:00

I have no words! I'm shocked! I'm sad!

I don't usually like those Youtube videos where there's just pics and sound, but I have to put up two of my favorite MJ creations. The first is my fave song, "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" and "Just Leave me Alone".

"Just Leave me Alone" takes me back to being like 6, at my grandma's house, watching VH-1 in secret (she didn't want my mom to know I was watching videos lol), and eating cheddar cheese Pringles. Mike you will be missed!

FML!

2009-06-24T02:15:00.000-04:00

I think this may be my first post that really deals with my current personal life situation. This isn't really what I wanted my blog to be all about but I have to vent. Bear with me...

I love my boyfriend. Love him to death!

My family, friends, and a majority of people in my life; not so much.

He's not perfect, but who is? Yes he has problems in his life, but who doesn't?

These are the things I tell myself when one of these issues or problems or imperfections come up. I can't get into the situation that has come up today and it sucks because I have nobody to talk to about it either.

I feel that it's necessary to say that I love my boyfriend with all of my heart. But love does NOT overcome certain situations and I wonder if this is one of those situations. In my heart and mind I see us being able to, but I always wonder what God's plan is. I can't force this, this is completely out of my control, but I don't know how to let go and just go with the flow...

I get so sad at the thought of not having my boyfriend in my life which is kind of bad on one hand. The brief period that he was out of my life was some of the worst days of my adult life. I was depressed, sad, lonely, and I couldn't fathom going through that again! I'm stuck, not sure what to do, how to react to a situation that has nothing to do with me but at the same has everything to do with me.

This post probably doesn't make much since, but I needed to let somethings out, hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.

Not sure I buy it...

2009-06-22T10:00:00.001-04:00

So I had started a post about this topic last night, then scrapped it but after ready today's post on SBM, I knew I had to address it.

The post was about a method that really should be employed by everyone called the stop...think method. Use it before you jump to conclusions. When my boyfriend were in the rocky stage before we got back together, I noted that he wasn't really showing his love to me the way he had before. Though this is partly my fault for all of the f*cked up things I did to him, I was like well maybe he doesn't love me anymore like he says he does. I stopped. I thought. Umm did he not just make me cry for a good 20 minutes after what he put on me? He did, he puts in overtime because he loves me.

So I was feeling the post and then I got to the comments. One girl said that the method didn't work for her. That men said and did things with booty as their ultimate driving force.

"Yes, boo, I'll take a long (boring) walk with you tonight." Translation: You better be givin me some head to night for this!
(One of the commentator's examples) "You're my wifey." Translation: That p*ssy is mine!

Now I will admit, I tend to have this same outlook on men. That at their fundamental core, every action leads back to sex. This can't ALWAYS be true...or can it?

This made me laugh out loud!

2009-06-13T11:49:00.000-04:00

When there's nobody for you to celebrate...

2009-06-10T19:35:00.001-04:00

So I don't know why now, after more than 10 years of being in this situation, the upcoming Father's Day holiday is really getting me down.

This will not be the first Father's Day where my father isn't with me so that I can celebrate him. Because of the fact that there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him, Father's Day should not be an exception. It should be okay for me to cry or mourn him on that day but I've noticed that I never really do. Its the other few days of there year where he is heavy on my mind, sometimes to the point where I shut down a little.

But for some reason, this year I'm dreading Father's Day. I see these commercials for all the great stuff you should buy for your dad, the best way to say you love, etc. and just start feeling some kinda way. I prayed to God today that my boyfriend doesn't call me next Sunday so I'll have to wish him a Happy Father's Day cause I really don't want to (that's another side issue that I'll save for another post!).

What do people who lack a father (for whatever reason) do to get through a holiday like Father's Day? I don't think any of my previous tactics are going to get me through this year...

My song of the day

2009-06-09T11:44:00.000-04:00

I know this may be a tad slow for the morning, but this song has been on my mind since yesterday. After years of being away Maxwell is back and I'm loving his first single "Pretty Wings". I feel like it speaks to my life a little.

Hope you have a great day!

The REAL Carter is at it again!

2009-06-09T02:23:00.000-04:00

Jay-Z is back with a new album, highly anticipated The Blueprint 3. It will be released September 11, 2009 which is the same day ten years after The Blueprint (and one of my favorite Jay-Z albums) was released. Even though the release day is causing some controversy, not sure why, I can't wait! I need something refreshing in rotation on my iPod.

The first single D.O.A. (Death of Autotune) is a hit if you ask me. Sounds more like the Jay I love and have missed. I think it's ironic that it was produced by Kanye West who's last album was nothing but him and that good ole Autotune machine, but I'm still lovin it!

Sidenote: Autotune use is SERIOUSLY out of control. I just previewed the new Mary J. Blige song with Drake and it's her using Autotune! She really just did NOT need to do that. It's not for everyone. Personally, T-Pain (and possibly Lil Wayne) should be the only people using it.

Do people talk to each other anymore?

2009-06-07T21:22:00.002-04:00

So I was talking with a good friend today (yes I still talk on the telephone…sometimes) and the subject of a guy she was talking to came up. She had gone on a couple of dates with the guy and she was really liking him but he never called her. He hardly contacted her and when he did it would be through some late-night, I'm-stumbling-out-of-the club-and-going -to get-breakfast-and-I-just-wanna-text-somebody, type stuff. Key word: text, not call.

From what she's revealed to me, any communication initiated by him has been through text messaging only. I'm sad to report that she's not the only girl dealing with a man that uses text as their only form of communication. I was involved with a guy that did the same thing! This prompts me to answer the question of why? Why do people, men in particular, feel that texting is a sufficient form of communication?

Don't get me wrong, I love text messaging. It keeps me awake in boring classes, is sometimes easier than talking on the phone, and sometimes gives me a chance to say some things I struggle to say in person. However, I feel that text can never be a substitute for human interaction.

Being a woman that remembers the days before cell phones and internet dominated life, I have an appreciation for telephone conversations and face-to-face interactions. Is it that hard for your to pick up the phone and call me? Aren't your fingers tired from typing out this deep *ss conversation on the phone? I miss the days of long nights spent talking on the phone, giggling with a guy I really liked. I honestly haven't done that since high school, I don't even do that with my boyfriend now and that makes me sad lol.

Text is not the only communication medium that has replaced real communication. Some people have more action with their friends on Facebook than they do in real life. I find that more and more people are going strictly text and I have to wonder if anyone else miss human, non-digital interaction?

So it begins...

2009-06-07T03:27:00.000-04:00

Well this is post #1 for Haute Chocolate.

Unfortunately I'm spending my Saturday night/Sunday morning home alone so I don't have much to talk about but I promise good things to come! I'm playing with my blog, jazzing it up for you so it doesn't look like I just threw a bunch of crap up on here. This is the life of a fabulous 20-something on a lazy Saturday night: working on my blog while watching The That Rocks the Cradle (the chick in this movie is crazy and it's only the first 30 minutes!).

Tune in tomorrow for an update...