Not My Cup of Lipton's

So being that I am now an "old-head" on Howard's campus (I really don't belong there anymore but can't seem to get away!) I find myself looking at this new generation of Howard students and I have to shake my head. Yes, I admit I am getting old I realize it more and more when my little cousins ask me about the hot new group of cuties I am clueless to who they are and what that new dance is they're doing in the video.

But I've been taking a good glance at these young Howard men on campus and I notice an ongoing look amongst quite a few of them. Jeans are tight and skinny, yet they still manage to hang low on their butts. Colors are bright. Bright jeans, bright kicks, brights t-shirts, etc.

Is it bad if I hate it? This whole 80's punk nerd swag is not really my cup of tea. I could dig it at first when guys were bringing back the dookie chains, nylon, and bright high-top sneakers but I'm a little over it.

I'm not saying I miss the days of throwback jerseys, ultra saggy and baggy jeans with the boxers showing, Timberland's and plain white Air Forces, and men doing that I been out on the block all day/night thing.

Anyone that knows me, I mean really knows me knows I had lil thing for thuggish type of guy. But to the delight of my mother and friends I think I've grown out of this phase. I love a man that can tastefully do the urban thing but clean it up and rock a suit or other stylish get up and look nice as well. These are guys that can do just what I'm talking about...

Now if you get past the face (which I can, something about Jay is kind of sexy) he's got it!

T.I. is another great example...he cleans up so nicely!

Pharrell Williams...he's got this style I just love!

When do you know it’s time to throw in the towel?

I never seem to know when to myself.

It's something I've been thinking about for the past week though.

I've been examining every detail, every part of my relationship with my boyfriend and I have asked myself if we are beating a dead horse at this point.

We've been doing this thing on and off for the past 7 years. We've had so many problems, so many trials, until recently others have come and gone for both of us. We've both had to do some growing up (I will admit mostly me). But this last time that we've gotten back together I pledged to myself that it was going to be different. I told myself before when even got back together that when we were back together we would be doing this thing for real. But as of right now, I'm struggling to figure out what that even means.

I thought it meant me being the woman he always wanted to be: a loving, faithful girlfriend, a nice person and not an evil bitch, looking at our relationship and moving it towards the future. There were certain problems that I knew existed, a number of them had existed since we first met back in good old 2002, but I had somehow managed to convince myself that they could be worked out, dealt with, and gotten over.

But the more time that goes on I'm wondering if we should have left us alone. As previously stated I have issues with letting go. Part of the reason I never just let things go was because I didn't want to have to deal with the pain of getting over him and I knew it would take quite a while. I've always been the one to do the breaking up to later regret the decision and I've always been the one left working my ass off to fix things. But this time I'm wondering if we should have left this alone a long time ago.

I hear about married couples and people taking years to make the decision to leave the person they are married to. Or women who keep going back to men time after time until they've made decision to really remove themselves from the situation.

But when you're not married or getting in your ass kicked how do you know when it's time to throw in the towel on a relationship? How do you bring yourself to end something you're not really sure you want to end in the first place?

I remember seeing this video the last time I was begging him to take me back and I just related so much. I feel like it's kind of appropriate now....

If we never make mistakes…

Wouldn't life be semi-boring? Would we ever really learn thing in life? How could we know our boundaries? How do we discover our strengths and weakneses?

Yes, there are some mistakes, very serious ones, where you do things and for a long time (sometimes your whole life) you wish you had never made them. But there are also mistakes, those really bad ones included, that shape you and make you who you are.

My sister is 17 year older than myself. So that means by the time I was born, she had gone through quite a few of those life things that we all must go through. Things that are painful, unpleasant, etc. As she watched me become an adult she attempted to shield me from those things. She attempted to save me time by telling me upfront what would happen if I were to do certain things and she always worked to steer me in the direction that would cause me the least pain.

Now there were some instances where I admit, she told me to or not to do certain things, and I did them anyways. Giving it up to Hooking up with that cute, football player, stud type who inevitably took my heart and flicked it down on the ground. But even after the pain, I learned what I was capable of, what kind of man I wanted, etc.

What makes me crazy are those individuals who give you advice on a subject, demand that you follow it, and even though you know they are only thinking of you, they get upset when you don't do exactly what they tell you to. What's even worse is when they get so upset that you don't take their advice that they shun you, push you away, put some sort of stigma on you.

My sis has a quote on her Facebook that begins "you are my friend when you can guard my failures…". That is one thing that many do not do and only few of us are lucky enough to find a friend like that. A real friend will not kick you when you are down. To me they won't hit with that "told you so" bullsh*t.

In the past year I will admit I have made my share of mistakes, many that were preventable had I simply heeded the advice and warnings of others. But many of these mistakes have taught me valuable lessons. I think it's always different when you have to experience that pain or go through a struggle rather than just hearing about it. As long as I never make the same mistakes twice, I think I'm good. I hope one of these days I can just start listening to others and stop putting myself through so much crap.

The best sandwich like ever!

I'm sitting at work, hungry, thinking about all of the wonderful food I could be having right now (if I wasn't broke) and my mind keeps wandering back to a sandwich I ordered at Cosi's.

I had Cosi's for the first time last week. My friends had gone and raved about it. I pass by there all the time. I was running late for work when I ascended from the Dupont Circle metro and my legs transported me into Cosi's.

I ordered a Grilled Chicken TBM but with no tomatoes (yuck) so that meant grilled chicken breast, basil, fresh mozzarella, this amazing Cosi vinagrette dressing...HEAVEN! I'm salivating...

Back to life…back to reality

So I have neglected my blog for the past couple weeks. I was in Cincinnati and I can't lie I wasn't doing much of anything! I could go into the details of the trip but I don't really feel there's much need, there's not much to report. I looked pretty much like that furry thing up there most of the time.

Things have still been somewhat rocky between me and The Boo although we are still together. He lost his brother while I was home. The guy was the same age as me and he had been paralyzed from a gunshot he received about a year ago. I think the fact that he was my age and had to die as a result of the crazy crime in Cincinnati has really tripped me out. We're constantly hearing about out black men getting shot and killed out there but it's never been this close to home.

My neglect of the blog also led to a neglect of all my other favorite blogs! I've been trying to play catch up on so many of them but one thing I've been reading about has really got me fuming. Why are people in an uproar because Michelle Obama wore shorts?

I can't figure it out. I understand the whole fascination with the Obama's because they are black or whatever the reason is, but we're going to make a big deal about her shorts??? Don't we have other things to worry about like finding that reality TV guy that killed his wife, Miley Cyrus' new boyfriend, or the Obama healthcare plan? Let's focus on something slightly more important please America.

I'm going to cut this short…the Fam is here this weekend so I'm sure there will be more to come in the weekend update!