When you decide to break the rules…

I just heard some real bad news.

I think that Kanye song is fitting right now.

I was perusing Facebook, trying to find something to keep me from crying about the fact that Michael Jackson is gone and I stumbled upon the fact that a very good friend of mines, who I will admit right here for the first time that I have feelings for, is engaged!

Now don't get me started on this massive wave of young people I know getting married these days. It's bananas but more power to them, I am not a hater. According to others my thinking is all off and these are days we're supposed to be marrying and having kids.

This is probably going to sound kind of messed up but I was totally planning on confessing my feelings! I probably would have done it before but 1. I'm shy, 2. Last time I was at home, he wasn't in town and I wasn't about to text, FB message, or any other non-verbal of communicating that ish.

It's my fault, I had a chance to tell him everything but considering I'm always saying that's not my style, I never did. When we were 16, he finally told me he'd liked me since the 7^th grade but he was too scared to tell me, he thought he wasn't good enough. It made me feel good at the time but he wasn't saying he wanted to be with me and I was with someone else so I didn't really deal with it. After he confessed, for years every time we would come home for breaks and chill he would tell me how he liked me, we would cuddle, we even kissed once but that was so bad I took it as a sign we were meant to be friends.

But lately, he had really been on my mind. I didn't even know he was in a relationship. I'd reached out to him last time I was home we talked for a while and I should have noticed something was different then. Now he's engaged and every freaking time I log on to Facebook I get the little reminder.

I guess he'll never know how I feel now, I certainly couldn't tell him now that he's engaged. I guess I'll do like they sang in that movie and say little prayer for him and his future wifey. Moral of the story: you snooze you lose.